MISANTHROPIC | pjm. [COMPLETED]

Chapter Twenty-Three

I wanted to end all of it.

I wanted to all bad things in this world.

No.

I needed to end bad things in this world - I needed to end the man that I didn't know what name he went by.. I needed to end the misery.. I needed to what I started. If there was something that shouldn't disappear from this world, it was the good.

It was them.

It was Jimin..

How could he love someone like me?

Someone.. so imperfect? This was it. He's finally going to be aware of everything i have done. And just like everyone else, he'll turn back from me. All the trust that was somewhat built, will break down because of this one night. And I'll be alone.

Again.

I turned to the side, my gaze landing on the city lights that were once mesmerising to me - now, they didn't look as entertaining anymore. They looked.. dead. It looked beautiful from afar, yet when you got close.. even to knowing the city itself, would you still find it beautiful at this distance?

The sound of the doorbell rang in my ears, and knowing exactly who it was, I closed my eyes for a short while, taking a deep breath, before standing up. My bare feet with the wooden floor was a much comfortable feeling than heels; it reminded me that things were simple, but it was going to be more memorable.

Unlike tonight.

Please, Jimin..

I answered the door, finding myself face to face with Jimin's confused, yet bright expression. He slightly tilted his head, moving closer and gently tapping my cheek, "Maki, are you okay?" he slowly walked inside, and closed the door behind him.

"I'm okay." right when I heard his tone, I didn't want to face him anymore. The stigma of everything I have done wrong - and the fact that I could never get all innocence back.. I couldn't even face the truth anymore.

I made my way to my bed. I needed to bring myself to speak up. I told Jimin to come to my apartment.. in the middle of the night. He didn't question anything. He went here, looking all concerned, wanting to know why he was here.. but it was hard to tell him.

"Maki, what is it?" he questioned. I felt his weight on the bed, and I continued to stare at the view in front of me, hoping the interest and admiration I had for it was to come back once more. But my heart wanted something else - like it, my eyes wanted to look at Jimin.

"Jimin.." my voice was shaky. I mentally cursed at myself. I didn't know it would suddenly be so hard to control myself. I turned my head, finally seeing him. And just like before.. my lips couldn't help but twitch into a smile. "I love you."

It was the only word that kept ringing inside my mind; I needed to tell him something he didn't know, not something he already did. I only had little time. I had to move. But at the same time, I wanted to be with him. I wanted to take my time.

His worried expression turned into a small, genuine, smile. "Yah, is that the reason why you told me to come here?" he moved his hand, placing a strand of hair behind my ear.

He's only heard it when I was drunk. Of course he was going to think it wasn't as authentic. I was always aware of everything I did and said when I was drunk - I just happened to stumble over them, and not be as smooth.

"You're so weird, Maki." he laughed softly, slightly tilting his head, as if he was observing my features. "I love you too." my heart skipped a beat at his response, words started to float around in my mind, that I didn't know what to reply.