MISANTHROPIC | pjm. [COMPLETED]

Chapter Twenty-Four

I blinked, hoping it would stop the tears from flowing down. My mouth went agape, when the call was immediately dropped. I didn't know what was happening - how even my teacher was a part of all of this. I was sure it was her. 

But all I wanted to do right now was disappear. This was it. The day I knew that was going to come - the day he discovers who I really am.. why did it have to be the same day, that he told me he loved me, and that.. he'd be leaving me? 

I didn't know what to do. Taking out the body would've been much easier if Jimin wasn't here. I took a deep breath and reached out my hand to get a towel, wiping my hands dry. Though there was still blood, it didn't matter anymore. 

"Maki," his voice was soft and gentle - but I could sense the fear in his voice. I closed my eyes for a short while, before standing up. I heard his footsteps inching closer, and my heart started beating faster. 

I felt his hand on my shoulder, and adrenaline rushed through my veins. I turned around, pushing him. "Get your hands off of me, Jimin." I muttered, some of my hair blocking my eyesight. "I'm a criminal. You already know who I am." 

His voice trembled, "You tried to kill me." 

"I wanted to kill you." I looked away, biting my lip. The rain didn't help much with everything that went on. "I was supposed to get to know you, lure you into a trap, kill you.. but Jimin.. getting to know you.. I didn't know I could get attached so easily." 

"I'm an assassin, Jimin." I breathed out. "That's the reason why I have an alias. I'm a criminal. A murderer." 

"Maki, make me understand." his voice sounded desperate. 

"I was raised by an assassin." I explained. But explaining wasn't going to help - my past shouldn't reflect my future. But I let it. I let it affect me so much, to the point that I regret not only my past, but also my future. "But that doesn't make things better." 

I looked up, "I shot Jungkook." 

His eyes slowly widened, and the way his expression became even more confused made my heart break. He moved closer, making me step back, "What?" 

"I shot Jungkook." I said again, making it more clear. "I'm so sorry. If I could just go back in time, Jimin.. if only I met you much early.." I paused, trying to calm myself down. "Maybe I wouldn't be who I am right now.. this murderer.. this criminal.. I want to change, Jimin.. I want to change so much.. for you." 

His expression softened, and I was purposely trying not to listen to what he had to say. I didn't want to be hurt again. "But I can't do anything about it anymore. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." my voice cracked, and I felt so weak. 

"Maki.. why are you so scared?" his said slowly, as if he was being extra careful with his words. My brows furrowed. 

"Why do you think, Jimin?" I felt so imperfect. How could he still bare seeing me? I had blood on my hands. My hair was so messy, I looked so ugly crying.. he found out about my identity. "Is there nothing processing in your mind right now? I shot Jungkook. I'm a criminal. Why.. why do you think I'm scared? I'm facing you." 

"You're scared of me?" his voice faltered. "I.. I have so many questions in mind, Maki.. please answer me so I could understand." 

"You're still going to try and understand me," I said, but it sounded more like I was questioning myself. After everything I've done.. he was still going to put me through this? Just.. how could I let go of him.. if he was so.. perfect? 

"You said you regretted everything." he said slowly. "And with just that inside the case, and knowing that you want to change.. you can make up for everything you've done." he moved closer, making me step backward. 

"Die." I felt my lips twitch into a smirk. 

"No, no." his voice was low and soft. And he frustratingly ran his fingers through his hair. "Maki.. for once, I just want to be selfish." he lets out a sigh and closed his eyes, before flashing me a small smile. "For once, I want to have something I really want. Even if it's just once." 

"Jimin," I looked up at him. "I don't deserve you."

"I forgive you," he breathed out. 

I shook my head in disbelief, and I scoffed. "Jimin.. stop saying such words just to stop something inevitable from happening. Something you really want.. just how much do you love me, Jimin? Why do you like me so much?" 

"I don't know." he groaned, genuinely confused. "I don't know. I don't know why I like you. And for some reason, that makes me like you even more. Maybe it's because I see something in you that comforts me - that reminds me of me." 

"You?" I pursed my lips. "How could you compare someone so undeserving.. like me, to someone so perfect.. like you?" I was starting to get confused, too. "Jimin.. if I'm going to end everything.. if I end up revealing my identity to the world.." 

"Don't." he cuts me off, moving closer, but I couldn't move away this time. My phone was ringing, but I chose to ignore it. I knew it was Erika. "We've kept so many things between us, and the urge of wanting to reveal this to everyone, when we're used to it in the first place, I.. I forgive you." 

"Do you?" I said softly. "Or are you just saying that?" 

He became silent. But slowly but surely, I knew he was becoming more frustrated. I didn't understand him, and he didn't understand me. 

"Maybe for once, let's be something we never were." he took a deep breath. "I'll be selfish. And you.. please, think about me, too." 

"I've always been too selfish." 

"Not like that." he ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes for a bit. "I love you. And if you love me too, then that's enough. I can't stand to cut this so shortly. I don't ever want this to end. I know you feel the same." 

"They know I've told you about my identity." I told him. "I can't stand to make you a target for another assassin. I've been ordered to kill you. It's because he was bitter about you not doing anything about his parents going to jail. But I assure him death." my mind wandered off to Erika's voice. 

I started to feel uneasy, maybe it's because I started thinking on how my teacher was related to this. The closest conclusion I could get to was that she was also an assassin.. like me. 

"I remember him." he nodded. "But they deserved it." 

"So.." I started. "You're really putting your life on the line for someone like me? It's only been a while, Jimin. You can't. You don't just do this for someone you swoon over for." 

"Swoon over," he repeated. "I love you, Maki. How many times do I have to say it for you to believe me? I forgive you. I promise." he sounded so genuine, yet there was something in me that didn't want to listen to his words. 

My heart was beating much faster than before. The smell of blood became much more stronger as time passed, and I sighed, seeing my phone brighten up continuously. 

"I believe you." I found myself saying. I wanted to hold him. But I couldn't. I shouldn't. I forced a smile. "Jimin.. let's hold this conversation for next time. Please?" 

His brows furrowed, "Why?" 

"I need to talk to someone." I replied. 

"Need.." he trailed off, his gaze landing on my phone as it lit up. "I understand." he moved closer, "Promise me we'll talk again?" he whispered. 

I nodded, feeling myself smile. "Trust me." 

--- 

things arent settled yet 

it just seems like it 

i mean come on a corpse is just.. there 

and let's see how she deals with it xD