MISANTHROPIC | pjm. [COMPLETED]

Chapter Twenty-Six

I took a deep breath and carefully put on the gloves. They were important to me, and they were the gloves Jimin didn't want me to give back to him. Was I really going to face him like this? It's been days since I last saw him.

I never let my guard down - even if I was alone, even if I actually knew and felt that I was safe. And whenever I was with Jimin, I would become more paranoid. Of course plenty of other assassins would come for me too - especially the misery..

They were cowards. They were too desperate, to the point that they would involve the people you love. I've never done such tactics, but then again, I've never really tried. Maybe I would've, if it hadn't happened to me.

And I was glad it did. If they ever did involve Jimin or the others, I won't hesitate. But as of now, Erika's words were the only things that kept ringing inside my mind. I wanted to change. I worked for no government as well, because maybe I was working for the bad.

I let my past and bitterness control me. I let Sumire control me. This wasn't me. And if I was going to change, I might as well wipe out everything that consumed bad images. If I was going to change, I needed to make up for it too.

But there were still people tracking me. I didn't want Jimin to be involved. I grabbed a coat hanging on the back of the couch, putting it on. My phone buzzed, and I didn't bother looking to see who it was - because I already knew.

I scanned the room, observing the now much empty room. Whatever he was going to say to me, he had no choice. It was for his own good.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I walked out of the apartment, hands inside my pocket. Everything seemed to be much more pretty - and I couldn't help but suddenly admire the trees I always passed by, the people I've always hated.

This was the place I grew up in. This was the place I hid from everything. Where I could be myself, and at the same time, take off my mask from being someone else. This was where I ran off to. And now.. I was running away from it.

I didn't bother taking the train. After all, it was still pretty early. Instead, I fastened my pace, until I reached a familiar park, benches standing on the side. The leaves on the trees, that were above the benches, lightly shaking off the snow.

From the other side of the park, my eyes landed on a figure. I bit my lip, clenching my fists as Jimin waved at me from afar. I smiled small, walking over to him.

"Are you okay?" he questioned. Our relationship was odd. I was always asking him to meet me up at certain places - or sometimes, I would just go without warning. And every single time, he never did say no. Every single time, he treated me like I was the light.

He slowly wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and the intimate action didn't make me feel better. It made me want to stay even more. I lightly tugged on the hem of his jacket, before looking up. "I'm okay."

I pulled away and flashed him a smile. His gaze dropped on my hair, that felt so natural, because it was. And his brows furrowed as he hesitantly ran his fingers through them, "You dyed your hair black. Your natural hair colour."

I nodded slowly, "Why? Do I look weird?" I couldn't blame someone if they admitted I looked better in other colours but black, because that was the reason why I did dye it. But it started to make me feel more confident.

It felt more..

Me.

My bare face was probably horrifying. The bags under my eyes, my pale lips, my blunt eyes, my skin wasn't perfect.. I didn't even bother wearing contacts this time - and my eyes felt tired. Though my vision was close to perfect, my eyes weren't.

"No." he answered, giggling. "You look beautiful." he enveloped his hands in mines, making my heart beat much faster. "Yah, I want to kiss you! You're so cute, even without makeup."

My lips couldn't help but twitch into a smile, "Save it for later." I slightly tilted my head, "In the meantime.."

"I'm leaving, Jimin." I started, looking up at him. His grip around my hands weakened, until I couldn't feel his hands around mines anymore. His smile dropped, and my heart couldn't help but pound. I hated seeing him so sad.

"W-What?" he forced a smile. "Gah, are you messing with me, Maki?" he chuckled, though it sounded more like he was reassuring himself.

"Jimin, you know who I am." I beat him to a much sterner tone. "They know who you are. They know what we are. I can't bare putting you in danger." my words almost seemed like the situation we were in was like in a movie. But we weren't.

"I'm flying back to Japan tonight." I clarified. The gleam in his eyes looked so desperate, I couldn't help but look away for a moment. "Other assassins have had a hard time digging up my past because it was so covered up."

"They never had people to put against me - I should've never got attached. But now.." I took a deep breath. "I don't care about my life anymore, I'm not leaving for my sake," I paused, and I know I didn't need to say it. "I want you to be safe."

The chances of them putting his life on the line to make me do things was high. But I knew what I was doing. I sensed his presence.

"Maki.." he trailed off. I could tell he was getting overwhelmed. "Let me come with you."

My eyes widened at his words, "What the fuck are you-"

"It's semestral break," he pointed out. "I can come with you. I have enough money-"

"Don't." I said frustratingly. "You'll only get hurt."

"I'm a criminal, Jimin." I sighed. "I'm not going to Japan for a vacation - I'm going to face the people I've always been running away from. I'm a killer, can't you tell? I will always be a killer. How could you forgive me?"

"I'll always forgive the people I love." he pursed his lips. "I don't know why I do. But no matter how many times they sin - I know I'll forgive them every time."

"Just.." he clasped his hands together. "Don't kill anymore, please."

I didn't want to take any more lives.

"You know.." I scoffed, moving my hand and placing it on his, I flashed him a smile, "All that's missing is for me to die, too."

His mouth went agape, and once again, he pulled me in a hug, "No, please don't think like that." he murmured. "I love you, Maki." he slightly pulled away to look at me. But if I were dead - Jimin was going to be okay.. right?

"I rarely ask." his voice faltered. "But I just want you to stay with me, I want you to be happy.."

I closed my eyes for a bit, "I'm sorry."

This was always how it worked; all I could ever do was say sorry.

"No," his voice cracked, and I blinked a few times, turning my head. He quickly wiped the tears on his cheek.

"I love you." my heart felt heavy as I moved closer to place a hand on his cheek. He looked up, and he placed a hand on top of mines. I smiled and leaned in, and almost right away, he kissed back.

It was memorable.. passionate and sweet, when I pulled away, I fought the urge to stay.

"I love you the most, Jimin."

I didn't want to turn away.

But I did.

---

jimin would've chased her

but hey

things would be

getting cooler yes

also istg im gonna go crazy, i need to finish this book gahhh i feel so so so lazy maybe before oct 10 or 15, this is finished~

please pray that i become your responsible author-nim again