Counting Sheep

The Outside

The great outdoors, unknown to her. She know what happens when she dared step out there.

Behind the window, she would watch through turquoise window, a cat or two watching with her.

She has a smile on her face. Happiness, warmth, as she stares outside and remembers what it was like when it was first out there. Such... wonderful memories.

-*^*-

The outdoor sheep scare me.

They may walk up, smile and laugh with mine, but their shepherd will point and laugh, forcing their sheep to hate my own afterwards, until I hate my own sheep.

In the barn, opened door, I swear there wasn't that many sheep. I look at all of them now with fear, remembering who they were, what they are.

The pain and suffering and despair that followed them, and soon, they took the appearance of ghosts. Invisible, yet visible.

The grey and white sheep stay by my side as the black sheep chases the other shepherds. I call out to them, telling them to return, but now I have become one of those shepherds.

Because of my accidental actions and words from the other shepherds, they too, will understand how I feel.

They will walk with pain, despair, and suffering, become ghosts to my life, and it is all because of how I acted, and I would only act that way because of how the others acted.

The bell to my staff gave a small ring as I walked, with curiosity, anxiety, excitement, depression,...

Which made my view look like everything was brighter. Happiness, excitement, curiosity, bravery...

It all looked like a better place when the lights switched on.

As I walked around, head held high, happiness reflecting on my body language, with a smile that actually showed teeth for once, and...

That all vanished in an instant when I saw them.

I noted my friends moving on without me, looking into the future. Making new friends. Rarely chatting with me.

I watched new ones flow in. The grey sheep joined my friend group, and tried to make us into pure, fluffy, white sheep.

All, but me.

My eyes dulled. I never thought about my future much. I was hoping that they would take me with them to their futures. Looking at the bigger picture, the switch turned off, and once more I was dragged into the hole. I chained myself to there, in the barn, in the hole, with my sheep.

My staff, missing.

-*^*-

The girl laid on her bed. She never placed the sheets on it because her pets always messed it up. She gazed into the mini hallway, hearing them yell for what they wait for supper.

Her eyes were dull as she thought and thought, staring at the wooden, detailed walls, talking to it.

Scratches, marker, and more covered the wall as she cried, laughing at her own joke.