Hold me down
My mother and I decide to cook a family dinner, just to have everyone close. I had to many near death experience, so since God decided it wasn't my time, I'm going to love and spend time with my loved ones because you never know when your time may come.
We making Collard greens, dirty rice, white rice, baked and fried chicken, BQ ribs, honey roasted Ham, candy yams, green beans, dressing, macaroni and cheese, and corn bread.
Just think about all that food have my mouth watering, and my mama going to bake down. With her sweet potato pie and bread, peach cobbler, chocolate cake and banana pudding with fresh strawberries. I'm making Killa's favorite chocolate strawberry cake.
"So I had a dream of fish last night" my mama say while seasoning the chicken.
"There is no fishes swimming over here, sorry to be the one to break it to ya" I say chuckling. I want kids just not now, it's to early and I still haven't forgiven myself when a lost the last baby.
"Why I want some grandbabies from you" she asks.
"Kailey have enough for the both of us" I say causing us to laugh.
"I'm your mama what's really going on?" she asks with concern.
I look up from cutting the greens and sigh. "Nothing mama I'm just not ready yet" I say simply.
"I understand, I just want you to be happy" she state.
"I'm getting there mama, after everything. I just wanna take things one day at a time" I say.
"You have that right" she smile at me.
"Ma what does it mean to watch the clouds" I asks. I just keep hearing that phrase over and over again in my head, ion know where I got it from.
"Where did you hear that from" she asks with her full attention towards me.
"Ion know, but I just can't shake the strange urg to tell you" I say shrugging.
"Have I ever told you how me and your father met?" she asks, I shake my head no "I was about 14 and your father was 16, I was mature for my age aways hung out with the older people. So we was at a party me and a couple friends, I had worked up a sweat dancing inside so I came out to catch my breath. One of my favorite pass times was to watch the clouds you know see what types of shapes formed, plus it helped clear my head" she smile as though remembering something
"Your father was the local bad boy, so it only seemed right that he would crash the party him and his crew. I was laying down in the grass watching the night sky. Your father comes over as smooth as can be he asks me what I'm I doing and why I'm laying in the grass. I tell him I'm watching the clouds. There is no clouds he said back laughing like I was crazy or something. I hated when people made jokes of me so I knew I had to say something back and make him feel dumb, so I told him just because you can't see them doesn't mean there not there anyone with a brain knows that" she explain making me laugh.
"What he said" I asks curious I can't believe I never heard this story, I remember my dad use to tell the best stories growing up and that's mostly what I loved about him. He was a nice, and caring man just don't get on his bad side.
"Ion know because before he could think of something, I got up and walked away. Everyone was surprise that I had spoken to him that way, because no one would or could ever muster up the courage to speak to Joan like that" she say, referring to my father by his name.
"He bothered me for months just to go on a date with him, so I finally did just to get him out of my hair. He had a picnic set up by the lake and we ate, laughed and played together. He surprised me when he suggested we watch the clouds, after it was done he told me no matter what he'll be there for me as long as I watched the clouds" she explain as a single tear fall from her eye. "When he died I stop watching the clouds, I had you but I was still alone. My best friend, soul mate, life partner was gone, all I had was this baby girl who reminded me so much of him"
