Deal with it
23 weeks prego
I've learned to deal with that fact that Killa has moved on, not saying I'm any less hurt by it.
It's because I love him I have to let him go and let him be happy, all I can really do is focus on me and my baby right now.
"What you think about lime green and black" I asks my mother, we are in home goods trying to figure out a color scheme for the nursery.
"That's ugly" my mother tuning her face you as if she smelt something rotten.
I burst out laughing, getting weird looks from the other shoppers but ion care "it's different" I say in between laughing.
"It's ugly like I said, how about the regular baby blue and soft yellow" she asks.
"How about cream with different hues of green" I asks instead.
"I can work with that" she nods here head in approval, while staring of into space as if imagining the room.
"That way I can pop the nice black crime we seen online" I tell her.
"That'll be nice" she say while she nods.
"Let's get the paint, because my corns are barking" I say, my feet are swollen. I've been on the all day, but I can't wait till everything start going together, I have a great version on this nursery.
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"Say we hungry peanut" I say to my belly, I had to give him a nickname, because I still haven't figured out his name. I didn't wanna just call him baby, that's boring.
He moves around a little, as I talk to him. I make my way downstairs, my mama had a meeting at church so it's just me and my peanut solo.
Getting into the kitchen I look inside the refrigerator and decided on cooking some shrimp pasta with a big salad.
I take out all my ingredients, placing them on the island and prep my cooking.
While I'm taking the tails of the shrimp my phone starts to ring, I wash and dry my hands than answer there phone without looking.
"Hello" I cheer, I hold the phone in the middle of my cheek and shoulder, while I finish the shrimp.
"Hey, I needed to talk to you" I hear killa voice boom, smoothly.
"But first I want to apologize about what happened, I'm sorry I walked out on you like that. I should have stayed and listen to what you had to say" I apologize, this is my first time talking to him since the blow up. I been meaning to call, but I got pregnancy brain I can't remember shit.
Just the other day I went into my mama room to tell her something but nothing on God's green earth could remind me what I was going to tell her.
"Yeah it's straight I ain't trippin, I knew you was going to react some type a way. That shit don't surprise me no more" he state.
"Nigga please, swerve" I say causing us to bust out laughing.
You would never think there was ever a problem between us, if you were the outside looking in. Looks can be very deceiving. If ain't learned nothing from Jaden I learned that, because he surly fooled me.
"Yeah whatever, how my lil' dude doing" he asks.
"Kicking as we speak, but he good. We cooking, because me and my peanut hungry" I coo to my stomach.
