Today || Lams

fourteen

john

i caused this.

i was the reason eliza tried to kill herself.

i hate myself.

i hate life.

but i have to keep living. for alex.

eliza needs to keep living for alex, too.

she was alex's first friend.

alex was crying and shaking.

i hugged him.

he kissed me.

i kissed back.

i love you so much.

angelica

i know my sister like i know my own mind.

you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind.

i love eliza more than anything in this life. 

i'll be broken if she dies.

i could hear her crying for atleast 2 hours as i tried to open the door.

when i got in she was passed out.

"stay alive..."

eliza

where am i?

all i can see is black.

i hear a ringing in my ear.

"she will hopefully survive."

i want to die.

"let me die," i try to say.

nothing comes out.

"is she breathing?! is she going to survive this?" i hear angelica say.

i hear kissing.

"i'm so sorry alex, this is my fault."

ugh! why couldn't i have just died?

no one would miss me.

"i love you john"

"i love you alex"

end me. end me.

"we need to give her more blood."

i see clouds.

i see stars.

i see my mother.

i hear a long beep.

"SHE FLATLINED, SHE FLATLINED!"

i could hear people running in and out.

end my life.

a/n- spicy cliffhanger lol

updates might be slow bc well i had head lice and my mom has to comb my hair EVERY DAY it takes an hour, and school and homework and crap so i'll try to update 2+ times a week 

also i might get to go to new york! i will have 6 hours to do whatever the frick frack i want so if i do go i will visit trinity church! ok thanks

also today is 9/11. rip to everyone who died <3

~eva