Trans masc culture in Florida is sitting in your room with your shirt off 'cause it's hot, but trying not to look down 'cause dysphoria.
Anyways, I have my power back on now, and I guess I'm doing kinda okay. My unwanted organs are trying to rip themselves apart this week, but it could be worse, since I don't have school. I dunno, it was just kind of a slap in the face from bottom dysphoria.
Guys, I'm not even joking. I haven't had bottom dysphoria in like, two months. I was living. Now it's back and kind of crippling and I just want to eat everything to keep myself from crying, but I also hate how fat I am and would rather starve myself because at least that would be helpful.
Sometimes I think about phalloplasty. I think I want it, but it's just so expensive. The scar doesn't bother me. I can tattoo over the scar eventually, but the price is what gets me. Like, I don't even have the 9,000$ top surgery is gonna cost. I definitely don't have an extra 15,000$ if not more laying around for bottom surgery.
Maybe I'll get there eventually, but for now, I guess I'm just left to wallow in my misery.
Sorry this wasn't an uplifting entry, but that's kinda my thought process right now.
YOU ARE READING
The Journal of a Young Trans Boy
De TodoI've seen lots of people with things like these, so I figured I would make one too. It seems to help sometimes. I'll include happy events too, though, so this won't just be me complaining about shiz. Just a way to get to know my every day life a bit...
