The Journal of a Young Trans Boy

April 21, 2017

Day of Silence was today. I was only able to do it throughout the school day, because my parents won't allow me to do it at home. They think it's dumb.

In most of my classes, I was pretty okay, but in two of them, I just felt like I was suffocating. I could hear people whispering and talking about me. I was just being paranoid, of course. Most people were fairly okay. There was just this chick in my last class that kept staring at me and talking to her friends. And there were these guys in my first class that were laughing and joking about me "pretending" to be a boy and playing devil's advocate because I'm white and can't handle the fact that I'm so privileged.

Honestly, though, I understand that I'm privileged for being white, but I am also unprivileged because I'm trans and asexual, and I experience depressive episodes. Race is a huge, huge part of privilege! I know that, of course! I will never, ever take my race for granted, and I will never discriminate against anyone just because of race. I absolutely hate it when people do that, and I honestly don't understand why people do it. I don't understand why race has to be such a huge thing, because we are all human. I don't understand why gender and sexuality have to be such huge things either, but they do. All of that stuff does.

On another note, my psych teacher used me as an example, calling out the fact that I was doing day of silence. He was explaining fundamental attribution error and asked if I was okay with him using me as an example. I totally was, since I love him and know he won't make an offensive comment. He even remembered to use my pronouns without slipping up once. It made me really happy, and I was already pretty chill with that class today since I got a 92 on the mock AP exam. I love psychology.