Nightmares (A Shizaya Fanfic)

Sudden Kindness?

I awoke the next day, surprised I had slept through a whole night. I turned to my right to see Shizuo sleeping soundly. Feeling my sudden movements, his grip around me tightened, in fear I was upset. I looked at my alarm clock, which read 7:58 a.m. My feelings were trying to be dominantly happy, but all that I could feel was melancholy. Another day ruled by depression and fear.

I gently removed myself from Shizuo's arms, and walked outside my bedroom. It was drafty. I had left a window open over night, which had cooled the room to a mere 42 degrees. It was April, and just transitioning from Winter to Spring. It was raining again. I grabbed a blanket off the end of the couch, and wrapped myself in it, deciding to watch my humans from the window. I turned on the coffee pot in my kitchen, feeling the thirst of two whole days building up. I sat down at the window.

There were more humans out today. They were shuffling through the streets, ignoring the rain completely. In all honesty, I was kind of jealous. What were their lives like? Better than mine indefinitely. To see little children holding hands with their parents, to couples with arms locked together, made the lonely pang in my chest grow. I didn't want my life to turn out this way- with all these negative thoughts and medical ailments.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder, if out of all of my precious humans, was I the most human? I mean certaintly to be human you feel pain, am I wrong? If it were my choice though, I would obliterate emotions. They're such a bother.

As I let my mind wander I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me. I shot my attention towards the shource- Shizuo. "Good Morning Flea," Even though we had established our hate was no longer meaningful, he wouldn't give up my nickname. Flea. I won't say it bothers me, because it doesn't, but it would be nice for him to use my actual name a bit more.

"Good Morning Shizuo," The absence of his nickname made him jolt. He knew something was wrong, and he strengthened his grip around me.

"What's wrong?" As if he didn't already know.

"The depression seems to have taken over today Shizu-chan," I wasn't going to lie. Not after how understanding he was yesterday. Maybe I had actually wanted his help all along. Did I really despise him before? What had chaged my feelings so quickly? What was Shizuo to me? Were these feelings more than friendship material? So many questions filled my already full head.

Shizuo turned my body towards him, and engulfed my body in a hug. "Listen, Izaya, I know what you're going through right now seems hopeless, but you gotta fight it. You can't just sit here because your depression is acting up. You haven't eaten in 3 days now. I swear to you Izaya Orihara, that I will fix you. No matter what it takes, I will fix you," His voice wavered a bit. I sensed the worry that flooded through him. "I'm going to call Shinra to get you looked at. You need a doctor,"

I tensed up a bit. I didn't want to see a doctor, but after that heartfelt speech, I had to give into Shizuo's request. He decided to get himself entangled in my problems and sorry mistake for a life. Was he my first real friend? I mean, Dota-chin was my friend right? I don't remember anymore. I'd been confined to myself so long now. I was slipping away. Was I even Izaya anymore?

"I see you've made coffee," Shizuo's voice broke me out of my thoughts. I nodded. I planned on drinking some, to cure my thirst and the slight chills wracking my body. "I'll get us both a cup. How do you take your coffee?"

"Black," I muttered. 'You know, because it matches the color of my soul.' I thought to myself, averting my eyes back out the window. The rain was coming down harder. I spotted a child crying his eyes out, alone in the middle of the street. Usually, I'd laugh at the kids misery and keep on with my day, but I had to do something. I saw myself in that child. Alone, crying, with the absence of a mother or father to comfort me through my tears.

I got up from my spot from the window, and ran towards the door. Shizuo was surprised by my sudden motivation. He didn't know what was going on, and it scared him. He followed behind me, making sure nothing happened to me. I got outside of my apartment, and into the pouring rain. The boy was shaking and crying his heart out. Had his parents left him here?

I walked up to him, and kneeled down. I could feel Shizuo's shock from behind me. "Hey, kid," I whispered, gently pulling him into my arms. "Where's your parents?" He looked up into my face, his tears subsiding. He had his arms clung to the fabric of my shirt.

"I-I saw a c-cat," The boy started out. "My m-mom and me w-were going to Russian Sushi a-and when I came b-back from petting k-kitty, she was g-g-gone," I picked him up, barely able to support him. My Vertigo was setting in. Shizuo recognized the shaking of my knees and the swaying. He knew what was going on.

He took the child out of my arms, and held him in his. "You said Russian Suishi?" He asked the kid. The boy nodded. Shizuo grabbed my hand, and took me along with him. His hand was warm, just like the rest of him. I smiled to myself, despite the depression I had been feeling all week. His body, his heart, his mind, everything about Shizuo was warm. I felt my face start to grow warm. Did I-? No no. It's wasn't possible. Was it?

Soon we found the child's mother. I recieved a hug from him, and the mother, and so did Shizuo. She thanked us, telling us how worried about her son she was, and then proceeded to walk away, her son and her hand in hand. Shizuo looked down on me, since I was the shorter one, and smirked. "Since when did you care about crying kids in the pouring rain?"

I scoffed. "I have my reasons Shizu-chan," His hand found mine again, and a jolt ran up my spine. I couldn't deny this weird feeling I got when we touched, when he was around, when his sweet promises reached my ears. I had to admit to myself. I felt something for the man who's fingers were intertwined with mine.

I made sure he couldn't see my face, and decided to ask him something. "Shizu-chan, can I test something when we get back to my apartment? I need your help with it," I tried to make it sound as far as I could from what it really was.

"Sure. Whatever you need, I'm here," There it was again. The warmth. He was truly amazing. Maybe. . . maybe he could actually fix me. Maybe he was my saving grace. Maybe, my life wasn't going to be a living hell for much longer.

As soon as we got back into my apartment, I walked over to the kitchen, and looked out the window quickly. Shizuo walked in, opening his mouth as if to say something but closing it just as quick as it had opened. I closed the gap of space between us, and grabbed his shirt lowering his face to meet mine, in an unexpected kiss. I felt the butterflies pick up in my stomach. It was official. I liked the monster of Ikebukuro. I was kissing the monster of ikebukuro. Shizuo's surprise soon died down, as I felt his lips start to move against mine.

I entangled my hands in his hair. Is this what a meaningful kiss felt like? Why had I pushed it away all these years? This was the best I had felt in two weeks. I didn't want to let go of Shizuo, but he soon pulled away for air. Obviously he was new to the idea of kissing someone. Then it dawned on me. Since Shizuo had obviously figured out I had feelings for him, would he leave me, or would he stay?

I looked up at him expectantly, awaiting his reaction, praying to the God I didn't believe in, that he felt at least a little bit the same as I did.