Nightmares (A Shizaya Fanfic)

A Brand New Start

We sat in total silence for what seemed like 5 minutes, maybe more. Anixiety started to build up in my chest. Shizuo stood there trying to make sense of what just happened. Maybe he was comtemplating his response. 'Maybe he didn't feel the same way. His lips say that he loves, but what if his mind says he hates?' My legs started to shake. I was scared of his answer. My knees gave out, and I plopped onto the floor. Shizuo stared in shock. "I'm f-fine. ."

Shizuo got down on the floor, and embraced me in a warm hug. He knew I wasn't alright. We both knew. "I want to know just one thing. Did you kiss me because you have feelings for me, or did you just want a reaction?" Shizuo's words hit me like a train. He still thought I was that kind of person? I swallowed hard, feeling like there was a lump in my throat.

"I have some sort of feelings for you. I don't know how or why, but when you're around me, I feel warm, because everything about you is warm, and I think I want that warmth too. I want you Shizu-chan," I didn't think before I said anything. I just let it all come out. My feelings. My deep emotions. I opened up to Shizuo. I knew deep down, even if I didn't want to believe it, he was the only one I could rely on.

We sat there, embraced in each other's warmth. I smiled in Shizuo's shoulder, despite the ominous feeling in my chest telling me to turn back. "Does that mean we're together then, Shizu-chan?" I felt Shizuo tense up at the mention of anything romantic between us. I wonder what he felt. I wonder how he felt about us. Was Shizuo ever in a relationship? Was I his first kiss, first love, first everything?

"Y-Yeah, I guess so Flea," He laughed, despite the seriousness of his answer. Maybe this was a new beginning. For me, and Shizuo. We were like two puzzles pieces. Without him in Ikebukuro, I would be empty. The puzzle just wouldn't be complete without him.

I looked up at him, but his face became somewhat blurred. What was happening to me? My breathing was getting weaker. Shizuo was only a silhouette by this point. "Izaya? Izaya?! What's wrong?!" He saw something was wrong. My heartbeat was growing slower and slower. It dawned on me. The not eating, had finally caught up with me.

"Call. . . . Sh-Shinra," I whispered weakly. I could barely get the words out. Then, just like that, all I saw was black.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I heard voices swarming all around me. "How could you let it get this bad?! Shizuo, he is almost to the point of death. He hasn't eaten in a week. He hasn't drank any water either. He is severely dehidrated and at the point of Anorexic. What happened?" I could tell by the medical analysis, that was Shinra.

Then another voice, one all too familiar, "He is having constant panic attacks, and he's weak and dizzy all the time. Plus he told me something about depression. Just please, help him get better," Shizuo. He was begging Shinra to make me better. . ? That was a first from the monster of Ikebukuro. Then again, as of not that long ago, he was my monster.

"Wh-What happen-ed?" I squeaked out. It was hard to find my voice. It took extra energy; energy I did not have. I felt a hand grab mine. I opened my eyes, letting my vision get used to the lights that seemed to only be on me. With slightly blurred vision, I saw Shizuo's fingers intertwind with mine, and Shinra standing over me, looking as agitated as I've ever seen him.

"Why aren't you eating, drinking, or getting the correct amount of sleep?" Shinra asked me, voice laced with anger. I didn't want to answer him in front of Shizuo. I didn't want to worry him. He was so inept in fixing me, that I couldn't bear to force him into any more worry. I motioned Shinra to come closer, so I could whisper in his ear my answer.

He came close, "Who gives a crap if I'm alive or not?" He retreated almost immidiately, giving my face a firm slap. Shizuo stood in shock, he was obviously angry at the underground doctors action. I deserved it though, so I sat, and held my cheek in shame.

"What the fuck Shinra?!" Shizuo was yelling now. It pierced my already burning headache. He grabbed Shinra's hand and looked him dead in the eye. Shinra glared and me and I shook my head at him. If he decided to tell Shizuo what I just told him, I wouldn't forgive him.

"Keep your Flea on suicide watch," Shinra glared, handing Shizuo a paper and a bottle of medication. "Make sure he doesn't try to jump out a window, or hurl himself off a roof," I squeezed Shizuo's hand, which was still intertwined with mine. He knew I was upset, but I could feel he was also upset with me.

He picked me up and started to walk out the door. "Thanks Shinra, but I think I can take it from here," Shizuo swiftly left, my body in his strong arms.

As soon as we were an okay distance away from Shinra's place, Shizuo frowned at me. "What did you tell him Izaya?" He sounded cold, and serious. He wanted an answer, and he wanted one now. I turned my face away from his. I was going to be as definant as I could, until the very end. "Izaya, he said something about suicide! I'm not fucking around! What did you say?"

Shizuo grabbed my face forcefully, and made me face him. He took a deep breath and started to speak in a low calm tone. "Izaya. I care so much about you. Do you not remember the last couple days?" I looked into his golden brown eyes completely silent. He sighed.

Before I could predict his next lecture, he kissed me. His lips were forceful. He angled me so my back could be pushed against the nearest wall, which happened to be at the entrance of an alley, so we wouldn't be noticed. I wrapped my legs around his weakly. He licked my bottom lip, asking for an entrance, which I hastily granted him. His tongue searched the wet cavern of my mouth. We stayed like this, in a lip lock, for at least a few minutes, until I broke for air. Shizuo's cheeks were dusted a rosy color, and mine, by what I could tell, were tomato red.

"What did you tell Shinra?" Shizuo repeated, snapping me out of my thoughtful daze. I looked him straight in the eyes, suddenly loosing all defiance I had as Shizuo returned my gaze with a look mixed with lust and annoyance.

"I asked him who would give a crap if I was alive or not," Shizuo's eyes went wide with shock. He hugged me tightly against the building I was pushed up to. I could feel how hurt he was by that statement. Though, I knew he wouldn't stop asking until I told him, so I had no choice.

I was just hoping he wasn't taking Shinra's warning seriously.