Nightmares (A Shizaya Fanfic)

Temporary Peace

As soon as I opened my eyes, I was greeted by a fast asleep Shizu-chan. I looked to the clock next to the couch. It read 6:15 a.m. I shifted myself in his arms so I could kiss his lips, enciting a groan from him. It felt like a weight was lifted from off my shoulders today. I felt. . . good. For the first time in almost a month, I felt good.

I wrapped my arms around Shizuo's neck and began to kiss his lips. Conscious or not, he began to kiss back slowly. I moved my body around so that I was straddling his hips. He began to slide his arms up my bare back underneath my shirt. I pulled back from the kiss trying to figure out if he was awake or not.

"Mmph, why did ya stop?" He pecked my lips, eyes still closed. "That was the best way to wake up~" Shizuo's morning voice was deeper than his normal voice, and it enticed me to go further. I had never noticed how his voice sounded as soon as he woke up because whenever I woke him up, I was panicking.

Shizuo's lips met mine again, but this time, Shizuo's kiss was full of want and need. I couldn't help but pull back. "Shizu-chan, we just woke up. Maybe we can play around lateeer," I half whined. He finally opened his eyes.

"Aw, that's no fair. You turn me on and expect to leave me like this?" Shizuo pushed his erection against the inside of my thigh and feigned a sad face and looked into my eyes. I sighed at his childish excuse.

"The most I'll do is get rid of your 'problem'. Okay?" I looked him in the eyes showing him that I wouldn't go any farther than that. He smiled his 'I won' smile and began to kiss me again. To be honest, something that nobody knows about me is I really do dislike sex. Only because I had been taken advantage of so many times.

Shizuo moaned into the kiss as our tongues pressed against each other. I could feel my pants start to get tighter, but I had more self restraint than Shizu-chan over here, who had gotten all hot and bothered because of a mere kiss. I felt good today, like my serious panic yesterday had released so much negative energy, that I was able to live in peace for at least a day.

I moved lower, trying to get this over with as fast as possible so I could enjoy my day thoroughly. It's not that I didn't like being intimate with Shizuo, it's that I didn't want to do something I could do any day on a day that was maybe the only day of happiness for me in a while.

As I unzipped Shizuo's pants and pulled them down to his ankles a voice echoed in my head. 'Loves slows you down. Compassion gets you killed. Isn't that right Izaya?' My eyes widened. My dream from yesterday started to replay again. No! I mentally yelled at myself. Not now. Not today. I tried to distract my downfall of thoughts with the situation at hand.

I quickly lowered my mouth onto Shizuo's erection and sucked determined to help him reach pleasure. I would not mentally battle myself. I wouldn't let him win. I bobbed my head up and down, stealing glances at Shizuo through my eyelashes. HIs face was flushed, and he was making the absolute cutest noises.

"Nnn, Izaya-ah! F-Faster!" Shizuo moaned. I sucked harder, moving me hand up and down the part of his length that my mouth couldn't reach. He made loud sounds of pleasure. The whole neighborhood could probably hear his husky lust filled cries. With one last deep moan, he came into my mouth. I struggled to swallow it all, but managed to get it all down.

My head throbbed bringing me back to the dream from yesterday again. "You're supposed to be God! These peons should bow to you. Not vice versa." I pulled up Shizuo's pants, trying to ignore that stupid voice that was supposed to be all my own, but it kept echoing.

I looked up at Shizuo and faked a smile. "Let's go somewhere. I wanna enjoy today," He smiled down at me, who was sitting in between his knees. His though, was a genuine smile. I felt bad that I wasn't telling him everything, but I wanted to leave it so I wouldn't become paranoid at a repeat of last night.