Nightmares (A Shizaya Fanfic)

Broken Glass

"Why would you say that?!" I could feel Shizuo's insatiable anger starting to bubble up. I'd be lying if I said he didn't scare me at times like this. He layed his head on my shoulder. I could feel liquid seeping through the fabric of my shirt. Sweat? "Please. . promise me you'll never say that again," Shizuo's voice sounded highly strained. Was that liquid. . tears?

I grabbed Shizuo by the shoulders and forced him to face me. Tears slowly fell down his red face. "I promise. Please don't cry," I was freaking out. I've never seen Shizuo shed tears, and I didn't want to ever again. I could feel my tears starting to spill over. I was so disturbed by him crying, but so happy he actually cared so much about me.

He picked me up bridal style, and started walking. By the direction we were going in I knew we were heading back to my place. I shifted around and kissed his cheek. I snuggled into his strong arms. I was ready to be home. We approached my apartment, and Shizuo walked me up to my room. He looked me in the eyes. "You can get mad at me all you want, but I'm going to take Shinra's warning to heart. I'm going to stay here for a few days to take care of you,"

"You don't trust me?" I was kind of upset, but at the same time overjoyed. Nobody cared for me like this. Maybe, I'd learn to like this relationship. Maybe love wasn't that bad. I looked over to Shizuo showing no emotion on my face. I wanted to encite I reaction from him.

"I trust you more than I trust anyone, okay Izaya? I just. . I don't want you to get hurt. I really want to stay by your side for a long time," Shizuo poured his heart into his words. I stood shocked at the words I had just heard. I wasn't used to Shizuo being so loving, but I loved it. Every minute of it. I couldn't take his cuteness anymore.

I jumped up out of his arms and dragged him by his bowtie, to my bedroom. "Can I just lay here and kiss you Shizuo?" A small blush crept up over my face. When he said those kinds of loving things, I just wanted to kiss him, and make him mine. Shizuo's face registered shock, but amusment.

"I-If you want to. Su-Sure," He layed down on my bed, and I crawled in, and got under the covers next to him. His face started to turn tomato red. I giggled.

"You really are cute," I smirked before locking my lips with his. This kiss, was not like any other kiss. Most people in a bed, under the covers would be wildly kissing each other trying to unbutton their pants, but not us. We moved our lips slowly against the others.

I could feel the happiness eminating from Shizuo as he kissed me. I entagled my hands in his hair, twirling my fingers through his blonde locks. Shizuo's arms wrapped around my lower back and pulled me closer. I tried to keep the kiss as passionate as I could, when suddenly Shizuo bit my bottom lip, making me moan. I broke the kiss panting.

"Wh-What was that for?" I was wide eyed. I honestly didn't have that much experience in kissing. I only knew how to kiss so well, because over the years I would tease Shinra, and freak Celty out. Shinra never bit my lip, so that was new to me.

"Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it Flea," Shizuo breathed into my ear. I shuddered. Oh, this boy would be the death of me.

I pecked his cheek, "Don't call me Flea when we're making out Shizu-chan," I smiled, and snuggled into his chest, "I'm gunna take a nap, mmkay?" Shizuo nodded, letting me fall into a blissful sleep in his arms.

I awoke maybe 20 minutes later. Shizuo was lightly snoring next to me. I cracked a small smile and wiggled out of his arms. I needed to go to the bathroom and check out Shinra's medicine. I walked into the bathroom and loocked at myself in the mirror. Next to the sink, a pair of scissors. Did Shizuo cut his hair? How did these get there?

I picked them up and examined them. Next thing I know, I found them against my wrist. A voice in my head called out to me. "Just finish it Izaya. He's too sweet for you anyway. You'll just hurt him. Kill yourself, you lonely bastard," Tears ran down my face.

I punched the mirror, scissors still in hand. Glass flew everywhere, the scissors dug into my hand. My right hand was bleeding fiercely. I dropped everything, letting blood drip into the sink. I yelping in pain. The glass had sliced open my knuckles, and the scissors had cut open my hand. Shizuo came running into the room.

"What happ-" He froze in shock. The broken mirror. The scissors. My blood. I tried to hide my hand behind my back, but it was to no avail. Shizuo gabbed my lefthand and dragged me into the living room and gave me a towel. "Put pressure where you're bleeding, I'm calling Shinra," I did as I was told not saying a word. I didn't think I had it in me to even hold scissors to my wrist. I was so afraid of death. How could I, in that moment, welcome it so warmly?

Shizuo was done on the phone pretty quickly and came to the couch. He sat down next to me and pulled me into his lap. He ran his fingers through my hair. I didn't notice how fast I was breathing until he started to calm me down. I must've scared him so much.

"I'm sor-" I started. Shizuo put his finger to his lips.

"Shhhh. Don't talk. I know you didn't mean to worry me. it's okay. I understand Izaya," He smiled down at me, sadness apparent in his eyes. I felt so bad I couldn't even be overjoyed at his cute and soothing words. I just focused on his hands, which were gently entangled into my hair, caressing my head.

I buried my face in his chest and pressed harder on my wounds, which would not stop bleeding. I kept my hand a safe distance from Shizuo, trying not to stain his white shirt with my pitiful blood. He lowered his head to whisper in my ear, "You can get comfortable. Don't worry about my stupid shirt. Blood comes out fairly easily,"

I let out a small chuckle. He would know right? I rested my clothed bleeding hand on his shoulder, stretching my neck up to kiss his lips gently. We both smiled at each other. "I couldn't have found a better person if I tried. Thank you Shizu-chan," I had to express my gratitude towards his love. I mean , who else would love a 'flea' like me?

Shizuo tilted my chin up so my eyes met his, "Whether broken glass, or panic attacks, I will be here Izaya, and I will fix you," His words were music to my ears. I didn't care that I was broken and abused. I didn't care that I was injured and bleeding. As long as Shizuo was here for me, I'd always be okay. Nothing could ever hurt me.

Who knew I'd ever be most grateful to Shizuo Heiwajima?