Nightmares (A Shizaya Fanfic)

Shizu-chan and I

Slowly I began to lean backwards into the kiss, until Shizuo was on top of me. His kiss wasn't at all needy. It was passionate and enticing. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back, whole heartedly. Then, something clicked in my mind. I pulled back from the kiss.

"I'll g-go to sleep Shizu-chan. . ." I whispered. Shizuo looked down at me, face full of confusion at my sudden cooperation. "I really want to have sex with you Shizu-chan, but I want it to be special. I like you. . . a lot. You're not one of my pawns that I can do away with. I want something like this to be special. Not just because you want to tire me out. . ."

Shizuo smiled brightly, "I'm not doing this because I want to tire you out Izaya. I used that as an excuse because I didn't want to say that I wanted to have sex with you because I. . ." Shizuo's face turned tomato red. He looked down and spoke barely a whisper, "I l-love you,"

I kissed him. I couldn't have ever asked for more. He said he loved me. Me! Maybe I wasn't as much of a worthless piece of crap as I thought I was. Maybe this was the beginning of something that could possibly last forever.

Shizuo began to deepen the kiss. I pressed my lips harder againist his, showing him that whatever he wanted to do, I was ready for it. He obviously got the hint, because he licked my lower lip begging for an entrance. I parted my lips, feeling his tongue search the wet cavern of my mouth. Our lip lock lasted so long, we had to gasp for air.

Shizuo pulled my shirt over my head, and began planting small kisses along my collar bone. As he was busy kissing my neck, I began to unbutton his white shirt, and pull it off his shoulders, and throw it onto the floor. He sucked on a part of my neck right behind my ear, making me moan. It sent shivers down my spine. I felt him smile against my neck.

He gave my lips a small peck, and lowered himself down to unbutton my pants. He slid my jeans all the way off, and kissed my growing erection through the fabric of my boxers. I bit my lower lip. It felt like pure pleasure. After teasing me through the linen of my boxers, he finally pulled then off.

He encased his mouth around my length. It was warm and hot and felt amazing. I bit my lip. He moved his tongue around the sensitive flesh, enciting moans from the back of my throat.

"Nnng, Shizu-cha-ah-n!" I couldn't help but contain the pleasure. It felt like pure ecstasy. He bobbed his head up and down from tip to base, and sucked hard on my erect member. I shivered and moaned a little bit louder than I had expected, as I drew close to my release. Shizuo, realizing I was on the edge of release, removed his mouth from my length.

"Shizu-chan, y-you can't just leave m-me like this," I whined. Shizuo lowered his lips so that they weren't even a millimeter from my own.

"You'll be satisfied soon enough," Shizuo kissed me, hard and passionately. After a wonderful love filled kiss, he pulled away and put three fingers in front of my mouth. I knew exactly what to do. I took the fingers into my mouth and swirled my tongue around them, coating them in my saliva. Shizuo involuntarily shivered, as I could tell he was enjoying it.

Shizuo pulled the fingers from my mouth and spread my legs. "You ready?" I nodded, bracing for the impact. Shizuo traced a finger up my inner thigh and then penatrated me with it. I winced. It wasn't painful, but it was definitely uncomfortable. Soon, he had three fingers inside and had me as streched as he could get me.

Shizuo removed his pants and underpants throwing them to the floor. "Izaya, this might hurt a little. . just tell me if it does, okay?" I bit my lip and nodded. Shizuo positioned himself at my entrance and pushed into me. I gripped the bedsheets forcefully. It hurt . Shizuo pushed himself all the way in, and grabbed my arms, so that they were wrapped around him. He looked me in the eyes, almost as if to ask if I was ready for him to move.

"Move," I whispered to him. He started to thrust in and out of me with a gentle and slow pace. I dug my nails into his back, as the pain had not yet dulled. Soon the pain was beginning to fade and I moaned with every thrust, and soon Shizuo was moaning too. "Faster- ahh- Shizu-chan. Mmm. H-Harder.." I breathed out between moans. He almost immiediately picked up the pace, going at the speed and force you would expect him to go at, being the monster of Ikebukuro and all.

"AH! Shizu-OH I'm g-gunna-Ahhn- c-cum!" I yelled. My whole body felt warm as the orgasm rippled through my entire body. I came on both of our stomachs. Soon, with a few more thrusts, Shizuo reached his limit and came. He pulled out and layed next to me.

Shizuo pulled the blankets over our naked bodies, and pulled me into his arms. I buried my face into his neck. He smelled of tobacco and sweat, but somehow it felt comforting. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, afraid that if I let go, he would disappear forever. My breathing was picking up. I was. . . panicking?

Shizuo could feel the rapid rise and fall of my chest, and he looked straight into my frightened eyes. "What's wrong Izaya? Why are you panicking? Did I do something?" Shizuo's voice was concerned and scared.

"I-I've never done something like this with someone I love. Wh-What if since you're done having sex with me, you leave? What if I'm just your sex toy. . ." Painful memories filled my head. All those times I was used by Namie and Shiki for their individual pleasure, for them to be back to treating me like shit the next day. Was Shizuo the same?

Shizuo hugged me tightly. "Why would I do that to you? Okay, granted that I used to hate you, but I don't anymore. I love you. I'm not going to hurt you. I told you I would fix you and that is damn well what I'm going to do," He kissed my cheek and held me in his strong arms. That's the only place I wanted to be. That is where I belonged.

My breathing did not calm though. I started to speak the words the panic wanted me to. "What if I'm unfixable? What if I'm just broken? Nobody cares if I die anyway, so what if I just-" Shizuo cut me off.

"Don't you fucking finish that sentence Izaya Orihara," Shizuo warned. "You need to stop worrying. Look, that clock says 8 p.m. We should go to sleep and I'll wake you when you need to take your next pills. Okay? Please. I'm really scared. I just don't want to have you panicking and contemplating suicide. I mean, we just shared a special moment, remember? Just think about us, and how much I love you and you'll always be okay. I'll pick you up when you're down, and I'll hold you in my arms until the pain goes away. Just please, smile for me and show me you're okay so I can hold you in my arms and go to sleep with you,"

I looked up into his eyes, and my quick ragged breaths, turned into calm ones. I smiled. "Thank you Shizu-chan. I love you so much," I kissed his lips gently, and snuggled into the warmth of his bare chest.

I loved him more than any of my precious humans.