Nightmares (A Shizaya Fanfic)

Stay With Me

As soon as we got home, this talk seemed so much more real. I hadn't mulled it over on the walk here, in fear of all of my thoughts going awry. We had eaten dinner already, and as of now we were both on the couch listening to the rain steadily patter against the window. I was extremely nervous about what Shizuo had to say to me. Now that his job was over, did he want to leave me? Were we going to go back to our old ways- being pure blooded enemies? I didn't want to lose him. Especially not after all we've been through. I heard Shizuo clear his throat and then he began to speak.

"Izaya, can I talk to you now? Or do you want to rest? T-This can wait if you want to watch a movie or something," Shizuo sounded more nervous than I was, which eased my stressful thoughts. He looked down at me, honey colored eyes filled with hope that I wanted this talk to wait. I looked back at him returning his nervous gaze.

I cleared my throat, mimicking Shizuo's nervous actions from moments ago. "I'd rather get this talk over with right now, or it's topic possibilities are going to plague my brain longer than it should," He sighed.

"Do you want to break up with me? Like ever? Do you plan on staying this way forever, or once you get better, do you plan on disposing me like anyone else?" I felt my heart pang against my ribcage painfully at those questions. Those words physically hurt me. I wasn't that way anymore, but I could definitely sympathize with Shizuo with his concerns. I mean, had I not been thinking the same thing mere seconds ago about him? 

I looked at him, hurt apparent on my face. I didn't know what to say. 'No' just didn't cut it. I tried staring at him, trying to get a read on what he was thinking, and how he might react to certain things I could say. Finally I just sighed in defeat, deciding to start with a simple no, and improvise words for my feelings as it went on. 

"No, I wouldn't do that to you. What you don't seem to grasp sometimes, is that I wouldn't trade my time with you for anything in the world. You're my world, my light at the end of the tunnel, my knight in shining armor, my guardian angel, need I go on?" I could feel tears start to fall down my face in streams, as I remembered what it was like to feel so feverishly alone. "If anyone should be worried it's me. Now that my mood should be back to normal, I'm afraid that I'll make you leave," The tears began to fall in heavier streams. "Please don't leave. Everybody leaves me. I can't do it anymore," 

Shizuo pulled me into his arms and squeezed me against his chest. I could feel his trembling arms as they embraced me in the embrace I had been missing for at least an hour now. His heart beat was rapid, as was mine, as we struggled to stay calm. All of these overwhelming emotions that had been taking over me this past month and a half had been like a cancer. It had slowly and painfully tried to kill me from the inside out, but Shizuo didn't let it. He made me stay strong, and for that, I am the most grateful. As Shizuo pulled back from this hug, he planted a soft kiss on my lips, knowing it would shift my thoughts from negative to positive as it always had.

He gazed into my crimson eyes, with his hypnotizing honey colored orbs. "I couldn't leave you ever. Not even if I wanted to, which I don't," He nervously chuckled, as he tried to stop my tears from falling. "You occupy my head 99% percent of the time. How could I ever dream of leaving you?"

I smiled though that tears that wouldn't quit falling. "What about the other 1%?"

Shizuo smiled down at me, happy that even thought I was still helplessly crying, my mind was slowly being put at ease solely by his presence. "When I'm kicking ass with Tom, I try to keep you off my mind," he looked down at me with pure adoration in his eyes. I smiled, even though I looked like a horrid mess. "You should smiled more often. You're gorgeous," 

I blushed, looking down. Now that I wasn't so depressed all the time, I could feel the full effect of his love and affection towards me. It was confusing. I didn't understand how he could love a person like me. I was so hateful and spiteful. Even though this confused me so much, I was grateful nonetheless. I hugged him, and got up off the couch and walked to the cabinet under the TV. 

"How about a movie Shizu-chan?" I smiled, just wanting to be close to him for as long as possible. He smiled and nodded signaling me to pick what film we would watch. I looked through all of the movies I owned and pulled out one of my favorites. The Lovely Bones. Shizuo made a face and raised an eyebrow.

"A girly movie? Dude. Dude. I thought we could watch a horror movie and cuddle," He grinned like an idiot, thinking that his smile could pursuade me to agree with him. Little did he know, when I wanted something, I got it. 

I popped 'The Lovely Bones' into the DVD player and smiled deviously at Shizuo. "Nope. We're watching this. Hopefully we'll be stuck in a romantic embrace crying" I winked, "Are you weak to girly movies Shizu-chan?" I started laughing and walked into the couch to snuggle back into his arms. 

Not more than 45 minutes later I caught Shizuo sniffling. I would've cried, but I found it more entertaining to watch Shizuo shed tears over a chick flick. I ended up giggling at the sad parts, and planting soft kisses all over Shizuo's face. This was the end to a perfect day. I snuggled into his arms knowing full well when I woke up tomorrow, he'd be by my side, and he would stay there hopefully forever.

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Hey Guys! So I decided this will be the second-to-last chapter! The next chapter will be an Epilogue (: Thank you for reading this and send me requests! cx I like writing these and I'll be working on a Gerita and JeanMarco one soon after this (: Thank you Guys <3