Nightmares (A Shizaya Fanfic)

My Guardian Angel

Shizuo stood at the opposite end of the room, absolutely shocked. We were both at a loss for words. I couldn't even tell what he was shocked about. Was it all my medical problems? Was it the fact that I wanted and needed him desperately? Or was it the fact that I, Izaya Orihara, was showing weakness?

Shizuo stepped forward, a rose color adorning his cheeks. "Yeah. I'll stay with you," he agreed. I opened my mouth as if to say something but quickly closed it at the sound of Shizuo's voice. He sounded hurt. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on? I chase you around all the time, and you're going through so many hardships. Are you asking for death? I mean fuck, how long has it been since you ate?"

I looked down at the floor, ashamed. Shizuo sounded genuinely worried, and hurt. "Two and a half days," I replied truthfully. I tried to sink back into thought, but Shizuo grabbed me and dragged me into the kitchen. He sat me down at the kitchen table and stood over me.

"What do you want to eat? Anything. I'll make it or even buy it. You have to eat," Shizuo firmly stated. I knew he was completely serious, but I shook my head anyway, and denied the food. I didn't want to eat. I honestly wanted to wallow away. I wanted to disappear. Although, Shizuo persisted. He grabbed a sweater out of my closet and walked to the door. "I'm going to Russian Sushi. I'll be back in 10 minutes. Stay calm,"

With that, he was gone. I got out of the kitchen and layed down quietly on the couch . Staring at the ceiling, my mind began to wander. Soon, I was reluctantly drifting off into sleep.

I was running. From what, I don't even know. All I know, is I was scared. Horrified. A hand grabbed my leg causing me to trip. I hit the ground hard. I could feel the blood trickling down my face. I looked behind me. They were laughing at me. Dark figures surrounded me. Mocking and laughing at me. Breaking me down. I looked at my hand's checking to see if they were hurt, but I was met with an even more horrifying truth.

They were transparent. I was disappearing. Actually disappearing. I could feel my breathing picking up. I got up and began to run again. I was terrified. If I disappeared, who would miss me? Namie hates me. Shinra was only nice to me out of fear. Celty needed the work. Masaomi and Mikado were scared of me, that much was obvious. Nobody gave a shit. Would I just disappear and become nothing? I looked down at my hands. They were so transparent now, I could barely tell they were there.

I tripped again. The shadow people stood over me again, but this time, they looked grim and evil. The smirks and laughter were gone. They were going to kill me. I braced for impact, when I heard my name being called. Over and over again. Izaya, Izaya, Izaya. Soon the shadow people disappered and I found myself staing into the face of Shizuo.

Another Nightmare? I couldn't breathe. I was coated in sweat, my hair plastered to my forehead. My body was shaking violently, and I could feel a foreign substance dripping down my chin. I wiped it, and was horrified at the sight. It was crimson. Blood. My nose was bleeding. My heart hammered against my ribcage. I grabbed onto Shizuo, and pulled him close, squeezing him as hard as I could to emphasize how horrified I actually was. Hot tears pooled down my face as I began to sob into Shizuo's shoulder.

"Izaya, did you have a nightmare?" Shizuo whispered into my ear. I nodded into his shoulder, letting more tears escape. Shizuo gently ran his fingers through my hair trying to soothe me. "Don't worry. You're scaring me. I'm here alright? I won't let anything happen to you,"

I sobbed harder into his shoulder. If he wasn't here I'd be alone crying on my couch, wishing I was dead. Thanks to Shizuo, I'm not alone. For now anyway. I doubt he'll stay more than a few days though. "S-Shizu-chan?" I choked out. I needed to ask him.

"Yeah?" He answered back to me, showing me I had his undivided attention.

"Are you just here because you feel sorry for a lowly flea?" My voice faltered. The statement hurt. Had I just opened up to him for him to be like all the others? Shizuo was the first person I'd ever let see weakness out of me. The one I was supposed to hate the most, was now comforting me on my couch. The monster and the flea. Who would've guessed? What if he didn't stay? What if this was all just a plan to spot out all of my weakness?

"Feel sorry? Listen Flea, I'm not that kind of person. If I bother to stay here with you, it's because I'm genuinely worried, and I fucking care about you," He hugged me tighter. His words sent a jolt up my spine. He let me go and held out a white take out box. "It's fatty tuna. Now eat up. Please Izaya?"

I couldn't help but smile through my tears, "How did you know fatty tuna was my favorite?" Maybe I was wrong about Shizuo. Maybe he was what I needed all along, but I never realized it. All those years of fighting, and for what?

Shizuo smiled. "You're not the only one with information sources. Now eat up. You're going to get weaker if you don't," Shizuo walked me into the kitchen, and opened my box of fatty tuna. I sat and stared at it for about five minutes before taking a bite of it. I chewed and swallowed. For the first time in my life, the taste of Fatty tuna had sickened me. Shizuo saw the disgusted look on my face, and didn't know what was wrong.

I ran to the bathroom. Not eating had made my stomach sensitive. I bent over and emptied my stomach in the toilet. Great Izaya. Embarass yourself in front of Shizuo. Great job. I was so mad at myself for not being able to hold the food down. I rinsed out my mouth, wiped my face, and returned to Shizuo in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry Shizu-chan. I really can't eat," I whimpered. Shizuo looked horrified. I couldn't tell why until Shizuo got my phone and showed me my reflection. I looked as pale as a ghost, and my face looked thinner. I looked unwell. I felt unwell. Hell, I was probably the most unwell person in Japan.

Shizuo lifted me up from my chair and brought me into my bedroom. He tucked me into the blankets, and made sure I was comfortable, before beginning to walk out of the room. From my room I saw him settle down on the couch and get comfortable.

I closed my eyes, but was greeted with horrible images, that I don't even want to describe. I opened my eyes, terrified of the images I had seen. "SHIZUO!" I screamed as loud as I could. My breathing was beginning to grow more rapid. Shizuo ran into my bedroom and kneeled at my bedside. Scared tears were welled up in my eyes. Inbetween ragged breaths I managed to speak. "Shizuo. . . c-can you sleep in here tonight-t,"

Shizuo- without question- crawled into the spot next to me in my bed, and pulled me close. My head was against his chest, while his hands were entangled in my hair, stroking my black strands to soothe me. His heart beat was fast, but slowing down. I must've scared him when I screamed. I wrapped my arms around him, and held him tight, as if to say 'Thank you. I can never thank you enough''

Shizuo held me protectively, and I could feel my fears start to fizzle away. Maybe this would be the first night in a while that I could actually sleep a full night. Maybe, just maybe.