The True Lives Of The Fabulous Kill Joys

Chapter 38- Dead!

What happened next was a bit messed up in my head, mixed around and boiled.

The realisation of her death snaps something in me. I collapse onto her stomach. I let myself cry as loud and ugly as I want. I hear Ef crying quietly too.

"Im sorry. Im sorry!" I yell into her.

Im put my arms around her and squeeze her in a hug.

My chest hurts so bad and my whole body wants to shed and dissolve into the air.

Eventually I let her body drop into the sand and I turn, grabbing Ef into a hug. I cry onto his shoulder and him onto mine. I let him pull me onto his lap, as when her curls around me I feel safe, like Im in a cocoon. I let my shoulders shake and my eyes to drain.

Eventually he stands, holding me. He hands me to someone that starts walking. Im too tired to stand or anything, but I can still cry, and I do.

I lean into their chest and soak it. Ace Im sorry. Ace Im sorry. I cant believe I let her do this to herself.

Someone shushes me quietly, sitting, I assume, inside the diner. He rocks me back and forth quietly, telling me lies like "its going to be okay".

Its not, its over.

Ace Im sorry.

***

I open my eyes. Im in Gees lap and he is asleep, head tilted to the side, mouth open slightly. Tears have dried to my face. Gee wakes and looks down on me.

"Youre awake." He whispers, dragging a hand over my head.

I smile weakly.

"Change into your night clothes? Those clothes need sending to Dr D. Only he can get them clean again."

I steady myself using the sofa before waddling into the toilet. Im basically redish black. Almost all my clothes are covered in blood. Theres blood caked on my face with rivers of tears broken into the block colour.

I have a shower and scrub off the blood clinging my skin. I change into my pyjamas and fold up my bloodied clothing.

I hand put them on the table before sitting down on Gees lap again. I put my arms around him and he gladly holds me.

"Shes dead." Im surprised at how small my voice is.

He squeezes me tighter.

"I wont forgive myself for letting her go."

"Her last word were 'I forgive you'. You should give her that at least."

I shake my head slowly, still shocked. "I guess."

I dig my head back into his chest.

"MK, Ef and Ar are burying her." He says.

I listen to his heart through his chest. When I burry my head into his chest it speeds up momentarily. I look up at him and he kisses my forehead.

"Im sorry."

"Im no part of BL now. Im nothing to do with them." I declare. "Ill fight until I die."

He sighs and I stare absently at the wall.

"You know what? Lets go tomorrow. Go hard or go home. Lets kill Korse!"

"Shh. We cant do that yet." Gee brushes his hand over my hair.

"Why not?"

"Because MK has to hack the system first."

"Cant he do that?"

"He needs to work it out first. We need a bigger team too."

My anger for BL bubbles quietly.

"This year, we are going to do it though, right?" I ask.

"Sure. This year." Gee sounds nervous.

I climb out of his lap and stand. Except I cant really stand and Gee is holding me up. I sigh.

"I need a long sleep. Wake me when MK knows." I say, staggering off.