The True Lives Of The Fabulous Kill Joys

Chapter 31- Violating Property

I sit next to Ems bed. She just went back to sleep. She got hit, on her shoulder.

Whilst I wait, for something, I think about how long Ive been here. Its been a month, at least, I think.

My mind scans over each day, each fight, movement, injury. I convince myself that I dont need to focus on the past. Nope, the future is bulletproof.

Ems body twitches. I wait, for something.

I close my eyes, leaning back. I could just relax here for one moment...

***

I lean forward with a shout. I fell asleep. Gee is now on duty and Ive gone and fallen asleep here. Great. I grin awkwardly and sit up properly, soon standing. I dont know what to do with myself. I remember earlier, now is a good time to ask.

"Gee..." I ask.

"Jade..." He replies, turning to look at me.

"What do you know about seduction? You said you would show me later."

A smirk spreads on his lips. He stands.

"Before BL I had all the ladies, I could seduce a person in a matter of seconds."

I shrug. "Go on then."

He raises his eyebrows and I wait, trying to look bored. Yet, just the anticipation is making my heart pound. He composes himself, taking a breath.

Its like he flicks a switch, suddenly he smirks and his eyes burn into me. I try and take steady breaths as he walks up to me.

He stands uncomfortably close and I feel his hot breath on my face. I step back a tiny space, just so I can breathe. I look up at him and he is already looking at me. I freeze, encapsulated in his eyes. His eyes search around my face.

If anything, its kind of scary.

I try not to knit my eyebrows together in fear and he towers over me. The line between uncomfortable fear and enjoyment is a small one, and we are teetering on the edge.

He leans down, breathing around my neck, contorting his body at me. I feel like a piece of meat. Im scared.

"Hey sugar, wanna taste?" He mumbles.

His face softens and his arm snakes around my waist. Im probably shaking, we have ventured into the uncomfortable fear zone and I want to get off this ride. I open my mouth to speak but Gee lifts a finger, placing it softly on my lips. Gee murmurs something else before tightening his grip. I dont mean too, but I let out a whimper, turning my face away. I dont want to ruin this moment he is having, but Im scared and uncomfortable.

He looks up at me and he snaps out of character, letting go of me. He lets go with such force that my knees buckle and I drop to the floor. I pull my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs tightly. I close my eyes, trying to slow my breathing down, trying to calm down. Its over now, you are safe. It wasnt in malice, he doesnt hate you.

"Jay?" Gee whispers.

I tense up, shuffling back. Not now, if only he would give me a moment.

"Are you crying?"

Fuck. I wipe my cheeks awkwardly, eyes still clamped shut. I focus on not shaking, breathing in and out, not crying.

Its like a bag of balls... And all the balls fell out... And Im trying to stuff them all back in quickly. I wipe my hands over my face, trying to pull myself together.

"Was it me?" His voice is coming from in front of me.

I open my eyes but they are a bit blurry, he is crouching close in front of me. I shuffle backwards, my back colliding with the wall.

"It normally works on everyone, even MK."

"Im not everyone." I whisper.

I need personal space, right now. I stand and rush out, finding a small closet and locking myself inside it. I think people saw me on the way, great.

Nobody is watching me as I let out stress and tears Ive been holding in for the past month or so, maybe some old ones from BL too. I try to be quiet, but you cant really help it when you are crying, your body just goes with it.

When my eyes have dried I realise my breathing is now almost okay. I lift up my hand, inspecting it in the dim light. Its still shaking slightly. I sigh, curling into a ball.

How would anyone enjoy that torture?

***

I think about how long Ive been in here, and do I have to come out at some point?

"Jay?" I think its Ef on the other side of the door.

I make a small sound.

"Do you want to come out and talk to me?"

I dont say anything. Ill probably cry again if I talk about it and I dont want the guys to think Im weak.

"You have to come out some day."

I wonder about how I look right now, whether anyone else is outside the door waiting for me to leave, why should I leave the closet?

"Please?"

I sigh quietly. I need to come out some time.

"Everyone else is out fighting, its just us and Em. But Em is asleep."

I push the door open, but stay seated. Ef smiles softly at me and I stand, walking and sitting on the sofa.

"What did Gee do?" He asks, sitting fully on the sofa, feet facing me, back on the arm rest.

I copy his position.

"He messes up sometimes."

I nod, composing myself. "I was learning how to seduce the guards so I can distract them. Gee said he was the master of seduction, and he would show my later. Later, I asked him to show me. But- but then." I take a breath. "He then started getting really close and violating my personal space and he just kept touching me and he towered over me and it was scary. But then he said everyone usually falls for it, even MK. But I didnt, it was scary."

Ef sits for a moment, soaking it in. "He doesnt seem like the kind of guy to assault someone."

"He just kept going and Ive never seen him like that." I shiver.

A tear drops down my cheek again and I curse myself quietly, wiping it away.

"Come, cry on my shoulder." Ef says quietly.

Ive never heard that phrase before. He offers me a hug and I hesitate before taking it. He pulls me onto his lap and I cry onto his top, wrapping my arms around him. To be honest, this is okay, this isnt violating anything.

"Im sorry." I cry. "Its all just coming out right now."

I squeeze him tightly and he is rubbing circles onto my back.

"Are you okay with this? Are you comfortable?" I whisper into his ear, scared I would be hurting him.

He laughs for a moment. "This is great. Dont worry about me."

Soon my tears dry and I yawn, crying is tiring. I move my head down to his chest, like he is a giant teddy bear. Before I can even ask if its okay with him, Im asleep.