Why? (Jin x Reader)

15

I had a day off and I had fallen asleep on the couch. Suddenly, I felt myself being lifted. My eyes fluttered open to find myself being carried bridal style by Seokjin. "Oh, did I wake you?" I just smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck as I nuzzled my head into his chest. He chuckled as he carried me to the bedroom. He lowered me down onto the mattress carefully and sat beside me. I rolled onto my side to face him and smiled up at him. 

"Thank you." I said softly.

"Anything for the woman I love." He grinned brightly as he rested his head on his hand. I blushed and smiled sheepishly as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "I never thought that I would even find you again." I felt a stab of guilt.

"After I ran away?"

"Yeah. I thought I would never see you again."

"I'm sorry.."

"Don't apologise. It doesn't matter now." He chuckled.

"I shouldn't have run away."

"Y/N, don't blame yourself." His expression changed as he realised where the situation was heading.

"Then who's to blame? Of course it's me. Because of my stupidity, everything crashed. I hurt you and I hurt my parents."

"No, it's not your fault." His voice was filled with pain.

"It is and always will be. I was selfish and it cost my parents their lives."

"You left because you wanted to help them. How is that selfish?"

"I left because I wanted to be useful, sure, but I didn't think about how my parents would feel. I didn't think about them, I just thought about money."

"Come on, you were so young-"

"Young and stupid." I spat, turning my back to him. 

"You're being too hard on yourself."

"MY PARENTS KILLED THEMSELVES BECAUSE OF ME! HOW AM I BEING TOO HARD ON MYSELF?!" I shouted, sitting up. Seokjin jumped at my loud voice and stared at me in shock and fear. My eyes widened as I realised what I had done and became flustered. "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you like that."

"It's okay..." He was clearly hurt, making me feel a stab of guilt. 

"I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that." He wouldn't look at me, but managed to force a small, painful smile. 

"I understand, okay? It's alright." He rubbed the back of his head and sighed.

"I feel so bad now. I can't believe I did that!" I held his hands and he still couldn't look at me. "I wasn't mad at you, I just... I just got worked up. I'm sorry." I said softly. He finally looked me in the eye and I was relieved at first, but then I could see a hint of pain in his eyes. "Look, I'll do anything to make it up to you." He smiled slightly before chuckling.

"You don't have to do anything."

"Of course I do. What I just did was completely unnecessary and rude."

"You've already apologised. That's enough for me."

"... Are you sure?" He held my hands tighter and nodded. I pulled him into a hug and rested my head on his shoulder. "I'm really sorry."

"Y/N, it's okay! You've apologised so many times already!" He laughed. I broke the hug and looked up at him guiltily. 

"But still..."

"Okay, how about this - stop apologising and blaming yourself and I'll forgive you." He said, smiling. The pain in his eyes vanished and he seemed to have gotten over it.

"Oh, I don't know. That's pretty hard." I joked, making the two of us laugh slightly. His arms snaked around my waist as he gazed into my eyes. I blushed as he pulled me closer to him. He examined all my features before locking eyes with me again.

"You know what? There is something you can do for me." He glanced down at my lips before leaning closer to my ear, making my heart race. "Just stay still and close your eyes." He whispered. Although I was nervous, I did as he said. He chuckled slightly before pressing his lips against mine. My eyes shot open in surprise, but as soon as his lips started to move against mine, I couldn't help melting into the kiss. My eyes fluttered closed as my hands snaked up his chest and around his neck. I kissed him back, making him smirk. One hand travelled down to my hip as the other snaked up my back. He started to get a little more serious as he deepened the kiss slightly. He was obviously hesitant to go further and so was I. This was our first kiss after all. 

He pulled away and gazed down at me lovingly. "That wasn't your first, was it?" He asked with a smirk. I chuckled shyly and nodded. "You're pretty good." He pecked my lips again before laughing slightly. 

"Am I really the good kisser here?" 

"Oh please, I've had four years of experience. That was your first kiss and I already can't get enough of you." He smashed his lips into and mine playfully and gently pushed me back onto the bed. He pulled away and gazed down at me, chuckling. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." I smiled up at him shyly. He pecked my lips one more time before climbing off.