Why? (Jin x Reader)

17

I woke up in a hospital bed. 'What the hell? Why am I in a hospital?' I looked around and I was alone. 'What the fuck happened?' I tried to recall everything, but I could remember a single thing. It didn't take me long to realise I couldn't remember a lot of basic information. Who was my family? Where did I live? Where did I work? What was my job? I couldn't remember any of it. I could remember my first name, but that was it. I didn't know how old I was or where I was born. 

A doctor came in and filled me in on what happened. Apparently I had been shot two times in each leg and once in the shoulder before being drowned in a river. Someone had tried to deliberately kill me, making my heart race with fear. In the back of my mind, I could hear a familiar tune. "W-Who was it?" I asked weakly. 

"A woman who went by the name Jung Eunbi." The tune immediately before louder and clearer and I could remember the wicked figure of Eunbi whistling. I screamed at the top of my lungs and buried my face in my hands, startling the doctor.

"No, not again. This can't be happening." I whispered shakily as tears instantly blurred my vision.

"Wait, so you haven't lost your memories?"

"All I can remember is her. I don't remember anything else." I shook my head in disbelief.

"How come? Has she tried this before?" I nodded before a male figure flashed in my mind, making me freeze.

"There was someone else..." I tried my hardest to remember who it was, but to no avail. "Some man..."

"There was a man at the scene with you, yes."

"Who is he?"

"His name is Kim Seokjin. I believe he's your partner." I looked up at the doctor in confusion.

"Partner? As in a romantic partner?"

"Yes."

"... I have a partner?"

"You really have lost your memories. We suspect it will be temporary so hopefully you will remember soon enough."

"How long will it take?"

"It varies."

"Is that so?" I asked in disappointment.

"I'm afraid so."

"... Well, can I see this partner of mine?"

"Unfortunately, not yet. He's currently unconscious."

"What?! What happened?!" I asked, feeling a wave of fear wash over me.

"He got shot as well. He almost bled to death and was thrown into the river, causing him to drown."

"Is he okay?"

"Yes, he's recovering."

"How badly hurt was he?"

"He was shot twice in the stomach, luckily missing any vital organs. I heard from a witness that the bullet in your shoulder was meant for Kim Seokjin, but you jumped in front of him. Jung Eunbi became irritated by your actions and shot you several times in the legs before proceeding to shoot Kim Seokjin." That's when memories started flooding in. 

"Wait... I've been here before." I touched my waist as I remembered taking a bullet for someone. "If only I could remember his face.." I shook my head in irritation and sighed.

"Okay, well I have to leave now. There's a button above your head. Press it if you need any help and a nurse will come to your service." He smiled briefly before exiting the room. I repeated the name in my head. 'Kim Seokjin, Kim Seokjin, Kim Seokjin..' I couldn't match the name with a face. A stab of guilt pierced my heart as I visualised his blurry figure. 'That's all I can remember? I took a bullet for him so he must have been special, right? We were even in a relationship... What do I do when he finds out?' I lay there, drowning myself in regret as the day passed. 

The next day, I awoke to a man sitting next to me. My eyes fluttered open to meet his lifeless ones. "... Can I help you?" I asked nervously.

"I'm sorry..." He mumbled quietly.

"What? Why?" I asked, carefully sitting up and wincing as pain shot through my body. 

"You're Y/N, right?" My heart stopped as my name slipped through his lips.

"... W-Who are you?" I shuffled back slightly, but he just sighed harmlessly, not even flinching.

"So you lost your memories too?"

".. M-Maybe. Did you get memory loss?" I couldn't stop stuttering due to nervousness and fear.

"I'm Kim Seokjin. It's because of me that you got shot." It felt like something unlocked within me. It was as if those words were the key to a chest of memories. I remembered roaming a house in the dark with a man, looking for something. I remembered hiding in the closet, clinging onto the same man. I remembered the whistling, the scratching, the barking, the evil whispers that escaped Eunbi's lips and finally, I remembered her sinister face. I visibly tensed as memories flooded my brain. When I thought it was over, I remembered immense pain and waking up in the hospital just like now. I remembered the man sitting beside me, crying and saying "It's because of me that you got shot." I looked over at the man sitting next to me lifelessly and realised that this really was the man in all my memories. The dark figure that hid amid fog in my cloudy head. The fog cleared and I could see his soft features, the features I fell for all over again.

"It was because of Eunbi that I was shot..." I mumbled absentmindedly. Suddenly, his eyes widened slightly. 

"Eunbi... Eunbi..." He whispered in fear. "No... This isn't the first time.. I can't believe I let it happen again..." He shook his head and hung his head down as his eyes welled up with tears.

"Please don't blame yourself." I said softly. 

"Then who's to blame? Of course it's me." Memories flooded in with every word he said. I could remember saying those exact words once when I was beating myself up for running away from home.

"You're being too hard on yourself." I said, quoting him.

"You almost died because of me. How am I being to hard on myself?" He said, his voice fading into a whisper as tears rolled down his cheeks. 

"... You remember." He nodded, the corners of his lips creeping up for a second. 

"Only some things."

"Same." The doctor came in saying that Seokjin had to return to his room for a bit, making Seokjin chuckled dryly.

"You know, there's one thing I remember the most though." He smiled painfully as he stood up and gazed into my eyes. "I love you too much to make you go through something like that ever again." He walked to the door and stopped as if hesitant. "... It was a pleasure to be your first partner, but I guess I'm not the right one for you. I hope your future is filled with joy and prosperity." My eyes widened and my heart sank at his words. I felt like I didn't know him that well, but something within me was telling me that he was all I knew. I felt like I was being torn apart as tears blurred my vision.

"A-Are you..."

"Breaking up with you? Unfortunately... Yes." He looked down at his feet as both of us had tears dripping from our faces. "It was an honour... I'll never find anyone better than you." He whispered shakily before leaving.

"No... Don't leave me..." My weak voice went unheard. "DON'T LEAVE ME!!" I screamed, burying my face into my hands. Tears streamed down my face as I sobbed in my room, alone. I desperately waited for him to come back, but he never did.