Cancer (Frerard)

Chapter 17- Lil Sass Queen Dramas

Gerards POV

After todays work, I head to the mall to collect Frankies present. I run into the store and buy what I want, then some wrapping paper and exit the mall, Frank should be with Jamia for this afternoon helping her paint the new house a few blocks away from my house, which me and Frank share with Mikey and Taylor. Its a great home full of the people I love and soon to be Grandma which was my world when my parents didn't exept me, she helped me. She excepted. 

When I get home, Mikey and Taylor are all loved up on the sofa watching some reality TV programe which to me is a load of bullshit. I mean who would wanna watch brothers and sisters argue when you have our family? 

"Where's frankie?" I ask the loved up couple knowing full well he should be at Jams but he could've come home.

"With Jams and the twins, why?" Mikey asks suspiciously.

"Im wrapping his presents thats all, what you smiling about? It must be a blue moon or or- UNICORN S HAVE BEEN PROVEN TO EXIST" I exclaimed really loud diving onto him, tay laughing and Mikey gigging which is even more rare.

"Are we gonna tell him? and Gee, unicorns do exist okay." Mikey turns to Taylor who nods after thinking.

"We're engaged" Oh my sass god, my brothers getting married.

"Oh My God! Congrats you guys, god I thought Mikey would never have the balls to marry you. I mean remember at the beach? He wouldn't stop talking 'bout you after that!" I am happy but jealousy is more of my emotions at the moment. I want his life with his love and not some year or two love because Franks dead. Stop thinking like this.

"I was remembering the beach today actually, remember Tay when you wanted to sleep in my room because it had spider man wall paper?"

"I just wanted to be with you Mikes" the truth spills from her lips, its all falling into place for Mikey, he's got a wife soon to be, a kid probably by the amount of times they fuck eachother and a home.

And what do I have? I have Frank and a job. I can't help but feel like life has cheated me, I can't have the man I want because he's dying. Death has cheated me again. Bastard. I cook food as always but Frank isn't here, I feel so lonely again. I dont want to go back to life without him, I would prefer to die myself.

Think about something else, anything else.

Hows the weather out there Gee?

Franks dying

How is that 15 year old after finding out

Hes gonna die, just like Frank.

I wonder if mom and dads looking down on me

Their died like Franks gonna be.

"Arrrh" I scream at myself, I'm giving up, I can feel it. I slam the knife down as I turn to see Mikey running at me with horror on his face.

"Ger, whats wrong? are you-" I look down at where his eyes were. Theres a bloody knife along with my thumb bleeding, I've cut my thumb. So fucking what? Franks dying. I want to pull all my hair out of my head and scream. Scream because after Frank, I'm gonna be alone again. I will never be happy again. Ever.

"Gee? You wanna talk?" I pull at my hair and slide to the ground, crying and screaming. I'm shouting inside my own head abuse like when I was in school. Mikey just tells Taylor to go to her parents or out with her friends for an hour while we talk, I dont want to talk. I want to turn back time and have all my life again with Frank. I don't wanna fuckkng talk!

Taylor leaves wishing me goodluck which for all I care, she can stick up her own ass and smoke it. Mikey sits with me, hushing me and telling me the same thing over and over again. "Its okay, cry it all out" its starting to piss me off.