Cancer (Frerard)

Chapter 18- Christmas eve

ITS BEEN A FEW DAYS, NOTHINGS HAPPENED.

Gerards POV

Its christmas eve! Its fucking christmas eve!

"Gee, its grandma, she cant make it this year" Mikey shouts through the cheery house.

"Why, whats wrong?" I shout back while I finish collecting Franks presents from where I've hid them.

"Oh nothing, shes just feeling a little under the weather thats all" Disappointment creeps through me that grandma isnt coming over.

Franks gotten alittle better since I've been off work, I think its because ive done everything for him, right now he's putting one of the last decorations onto the tree Mikey and I put up this morning while Taylor when to visit her parents in New York. Without her, Mikeys been worried sick. Its been 'why hasnt she called' and 'I wonder if shes okay' all morning.

Franks watching some TV show about cerial killers and lethal injections which he put on to piss me off, its working really well.

"Frankie, babe turn this shit off" I demand while hoovering the last bits off the carpet.

"Fine, housewife.You'd be a good housewife one day babe"

"Only to you" I smile as he returns.

I spend a few hours running around the house, finishing wrapping last minute presents and sending Christmas cards to people who I dont even know. Mikey helps pack the cards and drop them around houses because he knows I can't do it. I look in my rolm with rememberance about singing to Frank, its been years since I sang but I wrote. I never stopped writing.

Right now, its 4 pm, Taylor just come home from being at the familys, Frank and I are preparing to go over Jamia's to help put their tree up with the help of the beautiful girls that I've come to love as my own nieces and hopefully they love me as much as I love them

"Hey you guys, merry christmas" Jams greets us with 2 hot chocolates along with two exited little girls with their pj's on ready. I remember Mikey and I at christmas and how exited we were, we were nothing like these two girls now.

"Uncle Fwankie! Uncle Geward!" the girls chant as we enter the house, wiping our snow filled boots on the festive welcome mat aimed at the man himself. Santa must me so bigheaded- if he was real of course- I mean with all the merch and shit in malls, houses streets. His face is everywhere. And I mean everywhere.

"Cherri, do you and Lily wanna put the angel up on top of the tree?" I ask as the two girls boult to my feet, both arguing who I pick up first. After that, we all sit infront of the new fireplace and TV watching a new shit disney film called Frozen. I dont like it but Franks singing along with all the words, character voices and Anna's dance. He knows it all.

"Gee, look" I turn to see the girls fast asleep by 8, tired of waiting.

Franks POV

Gerard didn't seem to impressed about the movie, I loved it. Gee goes to the bathroom while me and Jams talk alone.

"Are you really gonna do it?" she asks whike I nod.

"Yeah, its what I want. I hope he feels the same-"

"I think he will, its your decision and he'll love you enough to agree"

"Yeah, its my last christmas-"

"Dont say that-"

"But it is Jams, I know, you know, everyone knows. I have to tell him, I have to apologise"I hear the door click to see a silent cry of Gerard and Jamias cup fall and crash to the ground.

Gerards POV

"Its my last Christmas-"

"Dont say that-"

"But it is Jams, I know, you know-" should I interupt them? I mean, I want him to talk to others but I want him to know that its not his last Christmas.

"I have to tell him... I have to apologise" Apologise, he doesnt love me? he's breaking up with me?

"Gee, its not what you think-" Frank shouts, a single tesr breaks into two, its like a symbol.A symbol of my heart breaking.I erupt.I have to fight for this love. Jamia drops her cup but doesnt flinch.

"Not what I think? not what I think! Then tell me Frank, tell me what to think!" I scream back.

" Gee, I have to apologise for making you feel like deaths cheated you-"

"Your breaking up with me?-"

"Gee, No. You always think I'm breaking up with you.I promised you forever and you will get forever because thats what you deserve-"

"Deserve, I dont deserve the truth? Tell me-"

"You don't deserve a dying man-"

"Frank stop it" Jamia buts in

"-No we all need to face the truth.Gee, I want you to move on after me. I want you to be someone elses. After the new year, I want you to start looking for someone else."

"What the fuck are you talking about? I will never have anyone but you. Frank, we promiced forever and thats what I want. Yes soon you may and will be gone but I will never leave you. Dying is just the end of life, not a relationship.I will be forever with you" I mutter while Jamia cries. Cries for the true knowlage that her brothers dying, crying because her cup broke? Crying because she knows there is no hope.

"Jams come around tomorrow with the girls, I think me and Frank better head home. I dont want to wake the girls" I throw my black pee jacket on over my black hair and head for the door without looking back. I just want this day to end.