Cancer (Frerard)

Chapter 11- White Lies and Chemical romances

Gerards POV

I come home to see Franks gone and Mikey and Taylor are on a dinner date celebrating their anniversary. So I guess I'm alone again. Work was shit, Fridays always the worse along with Monday because it just drags even more so without Frank. Frank, I miss him so much. Frank and I are boyfriends.Boyfriends falls off the tongue doesnt it? Boyfriends.

The house seems so empty without the laughter of him, but he gotta have some space I guess. I mean, the man has to breath alittle. After I shower and dry my raven hair, my phone rings with 'Frank ♥' as the name, I answer immediately.

"Babe?" I ask.

"Um... Gerard d'wanna go out tonight, I got something special planned. Ill pick you up in about an hour, wear casual clothes" And he hangs up. Well, that was sudden.  I change into a clean band t and skinny black jeans with an ageing leather jacket, once black but now browning and slide on my converse.  I love my look. When Frank arives, I'm so exited. He holds my hand when he drives which Is so cute but something inside me is shaking. Does he still love me? Are we breaking up? Please say no because that would absolutely destroy me, I think I would be like I was in high school. Or... Worse.Yeah I'd be worse. Definitely worse.  I think I'm- I dont know

Scared?

Worried?

Nerves?

I don't know. I hope its nerves. We drive away from the city and towards woodland. Its a stary night with clear skys but a little cold

"Is this the part when I find out your not Frank but some psyco cerial killer or something?" I laugh nervously, shit, I am nervouse. Calm down babe its your Frankie, he would never hurt you, would he?

"No silly, c'mon I have something special planned" the car stops near an old abandoned warehouse. Its like a fucking horror film. He jumps out quickly and runs towards my car door, opening it and helping me out like a gentleman he is.

The sky is black as I hold Franks hand tight, I love him. I really do.

It hasnt even been a week but I feel like I can trust him with my life, like now. I trust him. I notice more hair is falling from his head as he turns, hes trying to hide it. He guides me through the building to the roof where through moonlit skys, I see all of New Jersey.  Theres a picnic basket with a furry blanket and a bottle of booze. I turn to Frank and kiss him hard, I want to be like this forever. Frank kisses me back grabbing a pack of smokes giving me one. Ive missed my smokes and I think Frank has too due to his slowness with them, savering them like his last.

Franks POV

I craved the cancer sticks even though I know Jamia will probably kill me because 'they got me here in the first place' I feel sick. No more pain Frank, you need to tell Gerard the truth.

"Gee, I love you but I got something to confess" he stares worried as fuck at me, tears reading in his eyes.

"Your breaking up with me?" he mutters.

"Fuck no, never. Um.. I have to tell you that, that I'm not having anymore treatment." Gerard collapses to the floor. He knows the consequences.  He's crying hard as he refuses to look at me, his head hidden in the blanket set up but I see his whole body is shaking intensly.

"Please Frank, think about this. .. please." he begs as I drop next to him as he cries and wrap my arms around him for comfort.  I want him to stop crying, stop shaking and just by here for me. Its my decision and I have thought about it alot. I want to die my way. At my time. Where I want to die and who's there with me. I want my life in my hands and not some doctor that doesn't give a shit. Gerard isn't like that though, he's so sweet and kind and and... everything I've ever wanted. He is my dream guy.

"Okay Gee,  for you" I lie, I know I'm not having any more treatment.  Its just, I want to but whats the point. It'll kill Jamia and I through constant payments and let's face it, we re all gonna die someday. But, I want to live and not survive,  if I keep treatment, I would just be surviving and not being free. I want to live a happy free life while I can.

I hold Gerard tight in my arms, the feeling of his warmth is truly irresistible.  We dont talk but look at the stars in wonder of one day reaching them. His body lay flat on my chest as the snow falls slowly again from a clearlish sky. We drink alittle white wine which Jamia bought for me last Christmas. Gerard kisses me again, which is a wonderful feeling. I love him, its one of them loves like in movies. We could feel the chemistry.  Its like a chemical romance, my chemical romance. We both lay on the blankets, holding on for eachother for dear life and love and everything good in a bad bad world full of the same awful people.

"Want anything to eat? Mikey helped make some cupcakes with Taylor" I egg the cake eatting on because the once Taylor decorated looked really nice unlike the mess Mikey made on them, I mean really, that guys shit at icing a cake which even a 4 year old could do. Gerard turns up and smiles politely as if to say yes as I open the basket my mama had for me just was left in my car. I open and look around the chips and dips until I see the little plastic clear container with the cakes in. On top lay a sticky note:

Look after him Frank, he loves you dearly. Written in Taylors neat writing which I adore. Shes a really neat girl.

I hand hi, the best one,  the heart and whisper

"Im giving you my heart, if you'll take it?" I know Gee's in a bad mood with me because of the whole me not having no more treatment deal. I can tell he's thinking alot.

"Frankie, I'll always have your heart okay. I promice that ill always keep your heart" he starts to cry hard onto my sholder as I comfort the weeping angel whos breaking because of me and my selfishness.

"Don't cry Gee. Please don't cry because of me" I yet again hold him. I want to push him back together again because right now, I feel awful for doing this to him. He suddenly stops crying and looks up to me.

"I promice you, you have my heart forever Frankie. I would never ever forget you" Thats been bothering me since I was little.

Would I be remembered?

and now I know I won't be by the most important person in my life. And now I can die happy because I've found my true love- and he was closer than I first thought.