My father always wants to be like a normal father, hugs me, kisses me, treat me like a 'princess'... but I'm very closed of, very, sensitive... I don't like to be touched, don't like hugs, kisses, anything, that gets him mad... this just happened, he tried to hug me but I pushed away and said "I don't like it..." and he got a little mad and... "You're so sensible! I'm your father!" I got a little sad... If he reacts like that when I don't want to hug... I don't think I can tell my parents I'm bisexual... I don't know if being bisexual is bad... I don't know who to personally tell so I chose Wattpad, where not my family, friends, acquaintances come... here is my own little space... so I need advice... how do I tell them? Is it bad being bi? Who should I tell? Am I alone? Those questions... hurt me... I don't know what to do... I'm an awful mess... I want to cry but I'm happy, I want to smile but I'm sad... Why is my life like this?!
I'm honestly loosing my mind, don't know what to do or say... I'm lost... I've lost it, if I wouldn't have come to France, I would've still probably be straight... guys I need help... please just tell me what to do... I'm probably gonna die of sadness... I don't know who to tell, I went from social butterfly to a shy personality, I've lost it, I've lost it, nothing can save me... I think I wanna DIE... I'm not happy... I don't understand my feeling anymore... it's worthless... meaningless... lifeless...
I can't even... my life is becoming worst than before... was my life even worth living for?... I still don't understand anything... will they support me if I can finally admit I'm bisexual? Will they love me? What can I do to feel better? Cry? Laugh? Die? What am I supposed to do? I feel nothing... yet so much pain...
Is it bad? Was all my life just waiting to end? Like on a game, you want to end the round so you can leave? Is it the end of my round? My game? Can I learn to understand, my parents will probably never understand me being bi?...
But there are people who want me to keep playing this round, this game... the game of life. Once you leave... you never come back... you're out of the world... finally free to observe your loved ones... I don't know if I want to spectate, or play the game... I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone... I think I'm going insane... no one can save me, no one can save me, no one...
Help...
Started writing this on Friday... didn't have the courage to finish... thank you all for the support and the love... I'm glad I got this experience on Wattpad... see you later my Donuts...
Word count 492
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Randomness 101
RandomEverything gets weird every now and then. You need someone to talk to. Real life feels like hell. And you can find people who relate to you anywhere. But the world is big. So I talk my problems in a book. Even though no one may see them. I can t...
