i needed love, but you're too late now

chapter 4

                           namjoon's perspective
                             may 23 2017
                             11:26 pm

surprisingly throughout the whole time that i've been here, i haven't embarrassed myself at all! this is the first time that this has ever happened, especially in front of jungkook.
but to be honest, i haven't really done anything. to avoid embarrassing myself i just don't do anything. plus, nobody needs me ruining the fun that they're having. so it's better for everyone if i do nothing. anyway besides that, everything seems to be going pretty well. yoongi and jin sneaked away earlier, it's no mystery as to why they did. taehyung and hoseok are talking about dances and other stuff that no one else besides them understand. and jimin and jungkook have been whispering stuff into each others ears for the last 6 minutes. i wonder what they're whispering about? probably just something stupid. but what if it's not? what if it's something serious? like....uhhhh.....like....
then it hit me. could jungkook have a crush? or maybe even dating someone?! i knew i had no chance, but for some reason, i still had a little bit of hope. i don't know why. now all of that hope is gone. what's the point of having hope when you don't deserve it. now i have to punish myself for thinking even a little bit that i should have jeon jungkook.
i snuck off to the bathroom, but not really since nobody was paying attention to me anyway. i pulled the blade out of my sock. what? i always keep blades on me to punish myself for doing something bad. which happens quite often. i held the blade over my wrist for a few seconds, then i pressed down. one for liking jungkook. one for having hope. one for ruining everyone's lives. one for being a disappointment. one for being ugly. one for being fat. and the last one, one for existing. i saw the blood slowly start running down my arm. even though this hurts a lot, that relaxing feeling always comes back. always comes back to remind me that i need to do this more and more. at least until i don't have anymore blood. at least until i've bled out and died.
i heard someone coming so i quickly cleaned up the mess that i created. i pulled down my sleeve to hide the engravings that i just made on my skin. i stepped out of the bathroom to seen jimin. "oh hello jiminie!" "hi joonie. i saw that you left the living room so i just wanted to make sure that you hadn't left or something." "i would never do that without telling you jiminie." that's a lie. he knows because he once did leave without telling anyone and nobody even noticed. "ok! just wanted to check." then jimin left. probably to talk to jungkook about his crush.

                         jimin's perspective

i walked back into the living room to find jungkook jittery with excitement and nervousness. "so when are you going to tell him?" i asked jungkook. "who?" "namjoon of course!" "oh. not until i'm ready, which probably won't be for a while." "that's fine. just promise me you'll tell him eventually." "i will jimin. i promise."

  hello everyone! i'm sorry i know this story is complete garbage but *shrug* oh well. hello to may760 and skyinq . probably the only two people who are reading this. but if you're not one of them then you should check out their stories...plz. that's all i really have to say for right now. bai bai!