i needed love, but you're too late now

chapter 7

namjoon's perspective
may 24
how do i respond to that? what should i say? should i tell him the truth or should i keep all of my pain hidden inside of me. i couldn't think of what to say or do, so due to all of the stress i was feeling at that moment, i just started to cry. the next thing i knew jungkook was holding me in a tight embrace. "everything will be okay hyung. you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," jungkook told me. i wanted to tell him i really did, but something inside me was telling me not to. "things have just been really tough recently," i finally told jungkook after a while of me just sobbing into his arms. "like what things hyung?" jungkook asked me. "don't you already know? the nurse told me that she told you all about what they found wrong with me," i replied. "well....yes she did, but i thought that it would be more comfortable for you if you said it to me yourself." "thank you for being considerate kookie, but either way you were gonna find out everything about me, know all my secrets." i think jungkook didn't know what to say after that because the room was full of silence.

jungkook's perspective
i couldn't think of a response to say to namjoon's words. so, since i already knew what was wrong with him, i might as well ask him some questions. after a long awkward pause of me thinking of questions to ask, i finally came up with one. "why do you do this to yourself?" i ask him as i point down to the scars on his wrist. "because i'm worthless, useless, unimportant, ugly, fat, talentless, not unique, not special, not good enough, and so much more but i don't want to waste your time like i usually do," he said to me. did namjoon actually think of himself like that? namjoon is so perfect in every way, how could he? "namjoon you're none of those things! how could you think of yourself like that? you're perfect." "yeah right. i wish i was, that would make my life a lot easier." "well you might not be perfect in your eyes, but to everyone who knows you, you're perfect, i especially think that," i said with the most genuine voice i've ever had. i didn't hear a reply from namjoon, so i look up to see him staring at me. he immediately looked down with a little blush on his cheeks, it was adorable. " jungkook?" i heard namjoon say. " yes hyung?" "i'm sorry for all of this. causing everyone to worry about me. taking time out of all your busy schedules. and also making-" i shushed namjoon with my hand. "namjoon don't be sorry for anything, if anything, we should all be sorry for not noticing your pain before," i said to him. now thinking about it, how long has namjoon been like this? i hope (...j-hope...i can't help myself lol) it hasn't been long. "hey namjoon...how long have you actually had depression for?" i decided to ask him. "if i'm being completely honest, i've been depressed for about 5 years," he told me. crap, that's a really long time. how have we not noticed this before?! "namjoon oh my gosh i'm so sorry that we haven't noticed this already." "don't apologize i didn't really want you guys to know anyway," he replied. "oh namjoon, please tell us anything that is bothering you. we'll always be available for you, we don't want you to suffer," i said. "thank you kookie, it really means a lot to me," namjoon said while me a little grin with his cute dimples showing. then all of the sudden there was a knock on the door, it was the nurse. "you have 5 more minutes left before you must leave mr.jeon," she told me right before she left. only 5 minutes?! it hasn't felt like it's been that long. this also means that i have to tell namjoon the news. i promised myself i was gonna tell him today. okay jungkook, you can do this. okay, in 3....2....1.... "namjoon since i have to leave soon, there's something i have to tell you, please don't be weirded out by it," i said to him. "i promise kookie, i won't be weirded out," he responded. "namjoon i'm in love with

taehyung."

hello everyone! long time N.O "sea" huh? also thank you guys so so so much for over 200 reads! i really appreciate it! and sorry about the unorganized uploading schedule. it's just kinda random whenever i upload. school is really a pain in the butt. anyways i think that's all i have to say for right now. wait! also make sure that you guys vote for bts on MAMA! i think that our boys really deserve to win! and bts are performing at the AMA'S! *crawls into a crying and cries tears of happiness* otae i think i'm officially finished talking. bai bai!