Tell Me You Love Me 《Bieber》✔

Chapter 14-After

Playlist: Meet me on the battlefield-Svrcina

"It looks really great on you, Vaeh!"

"Yeah, now I'm wishing I could go back in time and wear a different dress to my wedding..."

The girls kept talking, but I couldn't hear a word they were saying. My mind was completely somewhere else. Thinking about certain events that took place just last night, a few hours from now really.

I couldn't believe how irresponsible I was for drinking. I should've just stuck with the one glass he handed me. But instead, I had two more. I was a lightweight and I always knew that. Why would I have thought that something would've changed overnight about that?

I was reckless and I wasn't thinking, I was drunk, but that still didn't justify my actions. I must've wanted what I did deep down to let alcohol be the factor to drive me to do it. But why?

I was getting married to a man that loved me and I loved, pretty soon. We were going to start a life of our own. Why was I so reckless to possibly throw all that away? But deep down I had a feeling I knew exactly why.

After years and years of wanting nothing more than to hear those words, he finally uttered them to me. Of course, not in the way I always dreamed he'd do it. Not under such circumstances and definitely not three years after we broke up.

But he said it and I'd be damned if I denied that something within me didn't ignite in fire. Because my whole being felt like it was being on fire and it was just  from three simple words he uttered. I'm not sure I even comprehended the secret he shared with me.

But now that I'm standing here and miles away from him, I could think clearly. The whole deal that went on for our entire relationship. I wasn't sure if I believed him or not. Did I even want to believe him?

So all that time, he did share the same feelings as me but was never able to tell me? Because of the fear of losing me?! I wanted to shout at him. Because that same fear was the thing that drove me away, thinking that he'll never love me as much as I loved him.

Now we're completely different people, leading completely different lives. But they were still the lives we once dreamed we'd have together. Yet it felt so different.

I think that maybe the reason behind my actions last night was behind one psychological reason. It was because for years I imagined that to be my own reaction to him saying those words. So having alcohol in my system, blinded me from what time exactly we were. It made me forget that we were no longer together, I was no longer in love with him.

It was a reaction the old me would've done, something I got stored away in my memory. I decided to believe that that was the case and that my mind just brought out that reaction I dreamed of from the deepest of my memory. Convincing me that it was three years ago and we were still together.

Maybe that was why it felt so right...

"If we're done with the dress fitting, let's go have something to eat. I'm really hungry"

Ivy's voice brought me back to reality. Bringing me back from the memory of last night. Focusing my gaze on the two girls through the mirror as they stood right behind me, deciding where we should go eat.

We were at the bridal shop I bought my dress from. Having my last fitting session, since the wedding was in a couple weeks now. And even though the dress felt perfect on me, it was still recommended by Sandra that we do a dress fitting just in case. In case of memory loss, Sandra is our wedding planner.

My wedding shoes was safely with my mother as she was the one buying it for me. When I went to visit her and dad, I saw it and it was gorgeous. And so in any case of damage or memory loss, we decided that it'd stay with her and she'd bring it on the wedding day.