SandersSides Oneshots

His Name

This is inspired from a tumblr post that I ended up adding a fic on to lol enjoy the Logan angst!

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He didn't get to reveal his own name.

That opportunity and choice was taken away from him, the option to tell everybody his name on his own terms, in his own time. The choice was ripped away from him.

Which was fine, everybody would have found out sooner or later, right? But still... a part of Logan wishes he could have chosen. Chosen when to reveal his name. It's silly, it's a trivial matter that holds no importance, and he doesn't really know why it hurts because it's silly to be upset over something so small, but it does.

It hurts that he didn't have a choice to tell everybody on his own terms. That he didn't get to choose when. Maybe he wanted to wait, wanted for it to mean something. Because it hadn't meant anything, it hadn't been important! It had been revealed in an insignificant moment, just blurted out, meaningless. His name, the one thing he had that was only his, Logan's, well, most prized possession, was just offhandedly mentioned. And that was it. No dramatic reveal, not that he would have really wanted it to be too extravagant. No hype or tension or excitement, because maybe it would have been nice to have people... care about him.

It would have felt nice, maybe been reassuring, to have people want to know something about him, be excited about him. It would have been a nice change. Instead it was just flippantly mentioned at the end of the video, and not even by him! he didn't hold it against Patton, he couldn't, but he would have liked to tell Thomas himself. He would have liked to tell the millions of viewers himself. Because it was his thing, not anybody else's, and it was important to him!

Why did everybody else get reveal their names on their own? Why wasn't he... why wasn't he important enough to do that? Liked enough? Good enough? Why was he getting so upset over this, he was being unreasonable, it's stupid, he should definitely not have tears in his eyes over such a trivial matter.

But it just wasn't fair.

He didn't get the choice in the closest thing to him. Didn't get to tell everybody his closest secret by himself. It was thrown out there like it meant nothing, which technically it didn't, but it hurt him. It hurt that his name didn't mean anything, that he was unimportant, that he didn't have any choice or say in the matter, or that he didn't get to tell anybody his most important secret, or that the very option was just ripped out of his hands and that he didn't get to choose to tell them, wasn't able to wait until he was feeling more secure and trusted the others more and knew that he wanted to reveal it or that he and his name seemed unimportant or that he didn't .. that he wasn't... that he couldn't... that nobody seemed to care.

The tears in his eyes slipped out.