SandersSides Oneshots

Apologies

I wrote this ages ago, just after the Nostalgia video, but completely forgot about it until now oops

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He wanted to ignore it. He wanted to stay in his room; his bright, warm, happy, nostalgic room and reminisce with the other three, he wanted to look through old artwork and peek into boxes and go through happy childhood memories. He wanted to push everything back, wanted to forget what had just happened, wanted this stupid, dark, sticky, miserable feeling that was now clawing at him to just go away. But deep down, Patton knew why he couldn't. He'd just hurt Logan.

He'd never seen the logical trait look like that; so shocked, confused, betrayed, hurt. They'd all ignored him, insulted him, told him to be quiet when all he was trying to do was help. But Patton, Patton was the one who had made him snap, he was the one who had gone too far. He was the cause of Logan's pain.

But some twisted, angry part of him deep down protested this. Logan had started it! He'd been trying to ruin their fun, their nostalgia, when he had been the one who had insisted despite Patton's protests that they should go into his room in the first place! He deserved to be told to stop, he'd hurt Patton too. Logan had said stuff he shouldn't have, Patton was in pain and Logan hadn't exactly helped by saying that he- that he was the cause of their trouble just because he couldn't let go of one guy, because he was heartbroken! Thomas was hurting so Patton was too, how was that his fault, how could Logan say that to him?! If Logan was only going to hurt and disagree with them and stop their progress to getting better, if he wasn't going to help, then it was best that he had left.

That thought disturbed Patton in some way, he didn't like it, didn't like that he was accepting it. But he pushed the uneasy feeling to the back of his mind, told himself it was a valid reason and kept sorting through memories and photos with Roman and Thomas. Virgil wasn't saying anything, but when Patton looked over he appeared to be absorbed in a book, so he turned back to Thomas and didn't look twice. Virgil didn't have to participate if he didn't want to.

Patton didn't notice the way Virgil's breathing was too fast, the way his eyes flickered nervously around the room instead of steadily reading the book he had opened in front of his face, didn't see the fingers alternating between tapping the spine and holding it so tightly his knuckles faded white, didn't notice the way he was curling in on himself. Morality didn't see how incredibly anxious he was.

Distracting himself worked, for a bit at least. But it would never work for too long. Patton was Morality; good and bad, right and wrong, the morals. If he felt bad, if something was wrong, then no matter how hard he tried to put it off, the feeling would only grow stronger until he made it right again. The feeling pulled and tugged at him, stripping away his bubbly, golden, happy glow (it was fake anyway, the result of old faded happy memories, it wasn't real joy) and shoving him back to reality. He'd hurt Logan, and that wasn't okay.

Patton felt his eyes widen as he fully realised this, and he suddenly had to leave, had to find Logan and apologise, (because even if he was in pain, so was Logan, and if he could stop one of them hurting then that was enough.) He was about to duck out of his room when he remembered Thomas.

"Go," he said quietly, itching to get away. The others glanced at him.

"Huh?" Thomas grunted, eyes roving over a picture he held.

"Uh, you have to go, kiddo. The room's affecting you, you've got some good memories back, everything will be okay, time to go," Patton rambled distractedly, not thinking too hard about what he was saying.

"But Patton, I don't want to leave! It's so nice here." Thomas frowned, finally looking up at him.

"I know buddy, but you have to." Patton sighed. Thomas opened his mouth to disagree, but Patton had decided he'd already wasted enough time ignoring his problems. "Time to go," he said with a sense of finality. Patton snapped his fingers and Thomas was gone. Roman looked up and raised his eyebrows, before gasping as his eyes landed on a record, immediately affected and swept in by the memories. Patton sunk away; they would be fine until he came back. For now he had to worry about Logan.