Excerpts From a Lonely Heart

Desolate Desert

My lids are heavy,
My heartbeat steady,
Laying, limbs outstretched,
On the desolate desert's flower bed.

Vast sand is all that surrounds me,
I am lonely, all I'll ever be.
Nothing else, no one else,
Dreaming about the beach's delightful shells,
Because while everyone swims,
I drown,
And no one can hear my screams,
And I keep sinking, down.

And how can I be drowning if there is no water?
My heart has been replaced with a monster's,
And I am no more my original creation.
Is it best to engulf myself in this suffocation?

One day he asked me, "Are you ok?"
Startled, smiling tightly, I pushed you away.
Everyone had always been so oblivious,
I was shocked when you asked me, so serious,
But no one really cares, they have no sympathy.

Insides filled with apathy,
That is what a desolate desert does to you,
Maybe I should just give up on me, too.

Far, far away lays an oasis,
But it lays too far back,
I remember drinking from it on a daily basis,
That fullness it gave me is something that I now lack.

I should stand up from this desolate desert's flower bed,
Otherwise, I'll end up dead,
But the thought of facing the real world tomorrow
Makes me sob and asphyxiate in my sorrow,
For from all life I've been depraved,
And I fucking know I'm too unworthy to be saved.

My insides ache,
And it is all so poetic, to compare happiness to a lake,
But in the morning, reality will pound,
I will not care.
Again, I will be smiling while laying on the ground—
People will not even stare.