I'm Lost Without Your Love (Trixya)

Chapter 22- I'll Be Okay Brian

(Trixie's POV)

After spending a few hours with Roy and Danny; I decided to leave and go home because I was getting tired and I just want to relax with Brian. 

Roy and I had a good conversation and he's agreed that he would keep an eye on Brian for me during BOTS tour so that was some weight lifted off my shoulders but I was still worried. 

I would never ever be angry at Brian for relapsing; I would just be so worried that I might give myself a heart attack somehow. 

No matter what happens; Brian is the love of my life and I would never be angry at him and I certainly wouldn't leave him even though that's whats in his fucking mind at this very moment. 

What makes my anxiety hit the roof so much is the fact how much Brian can't trust himself to not relapse; there comes a certain point where you can't fight your cravings anymore and you just release every emotion within your body go. 

I finally arrived home and got out of the car with Trixie's dress walking into the house; once I walked in, I saw Brian in the kitchen with nothing but swim shorts. 

Damn that body and his abs make him sexy as hell; no wonder I always get a boner whenever I see him nearly naked. 

I put Trixie's dress down upon the coffee table and I walked into the kitchen near where Brian was. 

"Afternoon beautiful" I smiled and wrapped my arms around Brian's waist "jeez you scared the living shit outta me" Brian shook up "sorry baby; may I ask why you're only in shorts" I asked. 

"I'm only in shorts because I have to look sexy for my man don't I" he smiled turning around and he kissed me "anyway where have you been all day; I thought you was still cleaning" Brian asked turning in my arms. 

"I had to go around to Bianca's to fix Trixie's dress" I smiled "well now you're home; you should give Daddy some attention" Brian smiled starting to trail kisses upon my neck "yeah Daddy want some attention" I asked.

"He does but I want to go in the pool" he smiled and pecked my lips "you haven't been in the pool all day, do you know how hot it is outside" I laughed "I do but I've been waiting for you to come home" Brian smiled I rolled my eyes.

"Go and get the beers and I'll see you in the pool" I smiled and pecked his cheek and walked upstairs into our shared bedroom. 

I walked into the walking closet and pulled out some random swim shorts; I threw them upon the bed and started to strip down to my boxers. 

I put on my shorts and walked out of the bedroom going downstairs; I didn't see Brian in the kitchen so I could only assume he was outside in the back. 

I walked over to the French doors and truth to be told; Brian was outside sitting at the edge of the pool with his legs dangling in the pool. 

I jumped in the pool and saw Brian smiling and looking full of life for the first time in a while; he was generally smiling and I couldn't help but smile. 

"So you coming in" I asked swimming up to Brian's legs "nope, I'm first going to have a smoke" Brian smiled as he put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it.

"Have you ever thought to quit smoking in your life" I asked swimming about "not really...well that's a lie; there was a time when I wanted to quit smoking" Brian smiled "yeah when was that" I asked floating upon my back. 

"The first time we kissed if I'm honest" Brian smiled inhaling a drag from his cigarette "aw, you're so romantic, why didn't you quit" I asked glancing over at him "stress levels are kinda high plus cigarettes stop my drug cravings" he smiled inhaling another drag; I closed my eyes and let the sun heat descend upon me.