I'm Lost Without Your Love (Trixya)

Chapter 23- Leaving For BOTS/I'm Going To Miss You

4 Months Later

(Trixie's POV)

It has finally come; the day that Brian leaves for BOTS tour and although I was excited for him, I'm still experiencing facing the reality of whether or not Brian can really trust himself to not relapse. 

I do trust him because he would never purposely relapse behind my back; I just kind of wish he didn't have to go on BOTS tour. 

I had just made a cup of coffee and I slowly walked upstairs to our shared bedroom to wake Brian up for his early morning flight. 

His flight was at 9:30am but it was currently 4 in the morning because I know Brian is not a morning person. 

"Brian Love" I softly said walking into our shared bedroom, sitting upon my side of the bed "ugh what time is is" Brian asked wiping the sleep out of his eyes.

"Its 4 in the morning; come on I have a nice cup of coffee" I smiled Brian turned around and faced me; I could tell he was tired but he had a spark of excitement striking through his eyes. 

"You're excited aren't you" I grinned a little "I am baby but I'm going to miss you" Brian said sitting up "I'll miss you too baby" I smiled and handed him his coffee.

"So is Katya's drag ready to go" I asked walking into the walking closet to get some clothes on as I was only in boxers "its all ready to go; BOTS tour is going to be amazing" Brian smiled taking big gulps from his coffee.

"It won't be as good as our tour a few years back" I smiled lying my clothes upon the bed "oh hell it won't but BOTS tour would be so much better with you babe" he smiled placing his empty cup upon the bedside table. 

"Oh don't worry baby; its only a few months and then Daddy can have all the attention he wants" I smiled crawling upon the bed and kissing Brian's lips; Brian smiled into the kiss and he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me closer into the kiss, we pulled away and the spark of excitement striking within his eyes lightened even more.

"Baby please fuck me" Brian whispered in my ear "baby we fucked few hours prior" I giggled "I know but Daddy wants you so bad" Brian wrapped his legs around my waist "yeah as much as baby boy wants you; Daddy needs to catch an early flight" I smirked "you could at least give me a blowjob" Brian laughed I rolled my eyes.

"I'll tell you what you can do; when you're settled on your flight, go into the toilet and jerk off thinking of me" I trailed kisses upon Brian's neck "oh baby you're making Daddy horny" Brian arched into the bed.

"Come on up you horny fuck, you'll miss your flight" I managed to untangle Brian's legs from my waist; he sighed in frustration but got up from the bed and he went over to the walking closet to pick out his clothes. 

Meanwhile I went to my clothes upon the bed and started to get ready so I could drive Brian down to the airport. 

Once I was ready; I went downstairs to make Brian some breakfast and let him get himself together, Brian has become very nervous over the last few weeks and I can tell. 

A few days prior I could see in his eyes how nervous he was and it kinda looked like he was having second thoughts about even considering BOTS tour. 

I know Brian will be okay once he's on his plane; I think he's just still worried about relapsing and if he does, I'll be there with open arms to comfort him. 

Roy was right; I can't be expected to pick up the pieces when disaster strikes but I love Brian and I can't just let him suffer when he needs in those situations.

I had soon cooked up some mushrooms on toast as its easy and I know we aren't going to be late for Brian's flight. 

"BABY I CAN'T FIND MY PASSPORT...AND MY WALLET" Brian shouted in a frightened panic; I put his breakfast upon the island in the kitchen and saw his passport, wallet and plane ticket upon the island.