I felt a certain ache in my heart because after everything we have been through I still loved him. I feel like my world is starting to tumble down because it seems that I know what my mind wants but not my heart and that could be the problem. Colin is an amazing guy and I love him with all my heart and he is the best boyfriend in the world and Liam is the type of guy that can make you feel like you are living in a fairy tale. But now I have to make the decision should I let LIam go or should I stay with Colin the person that makes me happy and isn't afraid to admit he is dating someone like me. This is going to be a hard decision.
I kissed him on his forehead and I promised myself that I was going to stay by his side through it all and hopefully when he wakes up we can talk. I walked out and I saw Colin waiting for me and he said "Everything alright?" I nodded and I said "He is going to be alright. He is just in a coma for a little bit." Colin said "Alright come on let's get you something to eat and then I will take you home so you can rest up." I nodded and I grabbed his hand and we drove to a small restaurant and I said "Thank you for being here with me. I love you so much." He parked the car and he said "I may not be your first lover but I want to be your last and I will do anything to be that person whether it be in this lifetime or next lifetime. If it means you seeing other people." I kissed him and I said "No matter what you will always have a special spot in my heart. You are an amazing person and you deserve the best that is out there." He smiled and he said "I know. Come on I am getting hungry."
We went inside the restaurant and we sat down and we ordered our food. Colin looked at me and he smiled and I said "What are you smiling at?" He said "What would you do if I told you I got you a present." I said "It depends on what present it is." He said "Close your eyes and put your hands facing up on the table." I closed my eyes and did as I was told and I felt somethig cold touching my hand and I opened my eyes and I saw it was a bracelet with a diamond pendant. I gasped and he said "Turn the pendant over." I turned it around and behind the pendant it said "If there comes a time when we can't be together then keep me in your heart, I will stay there forever." I cried a little bit and I said "How are you so perfect?" He shook his head no and he said "I am not perfect. It's just I am in love. Love does some incredible things to a person." I nodded and I said "You are the best." He kissed me and he said "I know." Our food came out and we ate and he said "How is it?" I said "Amazing!" Love is hard but yet it brings out a side of you that you have never seen before.
After we ate Colin paid for the dinner he drove me home and walked me to the door and he said "I had a good time tonight." I leaned against the door and I said "I know! Thank you again for being here with me." He said "No matter what I will always be here with you." He kissed me and he said "Go inside and get some rest. I will see you in school tomorrow." I nodded and as I was walking inside he grabbed my arm and he said "Wait. I have your phone." He gave it to me and kissed me passionately and he said "I love you." I smiled and I said "I love you too." I walked inside and I went to shower and I sat on my bed and wrote in my diary which I write on my computer it's more like a blog but no one is able to read it but me. "Dear Diary, Today has been one crazy day. I am torn between two amazing guys who loves me no matter what and they are willing to even take a bullet for me. But at the end of the day my heart belongs to one of them. Do you ever wish that you didn't have to make difficult decisions like this in life?" As I was writing my mom knocked on my door and she said "There was a letter left in the mailbox for you."
I said "Thanks!" She left and I opened the letter and I pulled out the letter and it said "Dear (Yn), You are the worst person on this planet. You cause pain and misery and there are days where I wish you would just disappear and never been seen again. You cause pain and misery to people and every time someone is around you they are either in pain or tears because of your actions. Please disappear its a wish I have always wanted." As I was reading the letter tears were starting to form and I put the letter in my drawer. Who could be so cruel and write something like that to a person. I may not be perfect. I make mistakes that's only because I am human. This was a rude awakening call but it made me realize that people don't always appreciate others. I can't imagine what else that could go wrong in my life. Maybe the person was right I probably do need to disappear.
