Don't Let Me Go

Chapter 7

I woke up in the morning feeling lonely. It was the worst feeling in the world. I was at Harry's house, in his room, without him. I was never going to be with him again either.

I walked over to the refridgerator. I taped the note Louis gave me the night Harry died at the hospital on the door. I read it again. I've read it about 30 times already. It never got old. I cried everytime I read it, including this time.

I was a teary-eyed mess again. Everyone always says it'll get better, and I'll move on. How? Every little thing that reminded me of him brought me to tears!

I called Zayn.

"Hello?" he answered.

I honestly didn't know what to say. I just felt upset, so I called him. It was my first instinct.

"I need you..." I said. I really did.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just..."

I started crying again.

"I'll be there in like 10 minutes, okay? See you soon babe."

He was my safety net. When I felt upset or lost, I went to Zayn. He always knows how to make me happy. Honestly, I think he knows me better than I know myself.

There was a knock at the door.

"I'll be right there!" I called.

I opened the door.

"Hey..." I said.

"Hey." he said back.

He hugged me. I almost cried. I have no idea why.

We walked over to the living room and sat on the couch.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"No. I never will be..."

Wow. That sounds depressing. Well, what can I say, it's the truth.

"You will be. Its just going t-"

"to take some time. I know. But what do I do now? While I'm not okay? While I cry over everything that even slightly reminds me of Harry?" I said cutting him off.

I put my hands over my face and cried softly.

After a few minutes, I looked up at Zayn again. We looked into eachothers eyes and then, we kissed.

I let him kiss me too. It wasn't just a quick, little kiss either. It was a real kiss. It seemed to last forever. I didn't mind. It just didn't feel right though. I really, really, truly, liked, maybe even loved, Zayn, but I felt like it was just wrong for so many reasons. First off, I felt like I betrayed Harry somehow. Secondly, he was my bestfriend in the whole world. I don't want to mess that up.

When we finally did stop kissing, we looked at eachother. I could tell by the way he kissed me that he had been wanting to do that for a while. As much I hate to admit it, so had I.

"Are you ready yet?" Zayn asked me.

"Ready for what?" I asked.

"I said that I loved you and you said you weren't ready to start a new relationship because you weren't ready to end the last one. I told you that when you were ready, I'd be waiting. Are you ready?"

The look in his eyes broke my heart. He wanted me to say yes so badly.

"Zayn, you are an amazing guy. Any girl would be lucky to have you. Like I said, I'll most likely never be okay again. You deserve someone better than that. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget Harry or recover from this. I love you Zayn. I always will. I just don't want to hurt you. You deserve someone who will be able to love you, and only you. Someone who isn't so afraid of being hurt. Someone who doesn't cry over everything because it reminds her of a boyfriend she used to be with. Someone who, isn't me. I'm just too complicated and messed up for you..."

"Morgan, look at me. You are such a great girl. It breaks my heart to hear you say things like that. You're smart, kind, beautiful, funny, caring, sweet, and the strongest person I've ever met! You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever see! I want you, and only you. I always will. I love how you can fall so hard for someone and love them so much. I love how you make me laugh. I love how whenever I need someone, you're there for me. I love your pretty face. I love how your smile can light up a room. I love you! I always will! I've never felt this way about anyone else before. It's okay to be a little bit damaged! Aren't we all? I'll help you get better. We can get through this together. You and me, forever. Crying is okay too! We're only human! I understand. What are you gonna do Morgan? Are you never gonna fall in love again because you feel like you're too damaged and screwed up for anyone to ever love you? I can love you!"

He was crying now, which of course, made me cry too. I don't think I've ever seen Zayn cry before the past couple of weeks.

"I'd give up everything to be with you..." he added.

How do I respond to that? He told me everything I'd ever wanted to hear. I always wanted to find a guy who would love me unconditionally and fight to be with me. He was it.

He had a point too. I couldn't never fall in love because I felt like I was to messed up. If someone could fall me in the sad, broken state I was in, they must love me. If anyone was going to help me get better, if that were possible, it would be Zayn.

"Zayn. I... I'm ready." I said through the tears.

He kissed me again. This time, I felt happier than I did last time. He made me feel happy, which I thought was impossible.

What were other people going to think about this? My boyfriend died a little less than a month ago and I already have another boyfriend? That sounds really messed up. To top it all off, my new boyfriend was bestfriends with my other boyfriend. That sounded REALLY messed up.

I grabbed my phone and texted Liam about what happened. He always gave me the answers I wanted to hear.

From: Liam :D

"Rlly? Tht's adrble! Im so happi 4 u 2! Mybe he cn cheer u up a lil bit! :)"

He was happy about it. It was always a little hard to understand his texts, but I knew what he was trying to say... For the most part.

Next I texted Niall. He always gave you his opinion, but he sugar coated it a little bit.

From: Nialler XD

"Wow. I thought u guys would end up together. He told me he liked u a while ago. I think it's cute. I'd keep it on the dl for a while though."

Wow, how long ago did he start liking me?

I agreed with Niall about keeping it quiet. I knew Zayn would want it that way anyways. He likes to keep his love life private.

Lastly, I texted Louis. No matter what, he always gave me his honest opinion, no matter how much it hurt.

From: Louis :3

"Can I come over?"

Uh oh.

"Sure :)" I replied.

I guess his opinion was more than 140 characters. This could be bad...