Caring For Pet Humans

What do Humans Need?

I have a friend called *static noise* and she once told me that some of her humans had formed socio-political groups to fix their broken world after she got stuck in traffic a little too long.

The group was devoted to de-escalating drama, and *static noise* being a very dramatic person destroyed it in an earthquake. Before that however, she noticed that the human involved had put up a list of stuff humans need and planned to get that stuff to the humans in the surrounding area. Her humans were mainly focused on food, shelter and ripe oranges being available at all times, but that's not all humans need.

In this chapter, we will cover some basic human needs that need to be present in all the worlds you own if you want your humans to be healthy and happy enough to cause drama.

1.Food

Humans put a wide variety of items under this category. Most plants and even animals can and will be eaten by humans.

"Eating" is when a human places a small portion of the food they have obtained in a face-hole called the mouth. The mouth has hard white things called "teeth" that breaks the food into pieces. The human then unconsciously breaks the food into even smaller pieces as they go about their day. The smallest particles are used to complete tasks that will probably get the human to more food.

It seems mundane, but take note, without food your humans will soon cease to move, talk or create drama. Forever.

2. Water

If your control box has ever malfunctioned and caused the oceans in the world to rise higher and higher, submerging all the villages and cities, and eventually spilling over the sides and wetting your best fuzzy socks, you know what water is.

Oddly enough, humans drink the stuff. They also swim, bathe and sometimes die in it. No one is quite sure why they do these things, but we suspect it's related to elephant seals in some way. 

3. Ripe Oranges

Humans are known to always use ripe oranges when they find them on trees, so we suspect that they need them to survive. No one knows why.

4. Shelter

Although it is not as important as food, water and ripe oranges, shelter can make a big difference to your humans life. As mentioned earlier, without homes humans get scared. They may also be attacked by bears. However, humans may sometimes burn down their homes. This is probably because they didn't like the style of architecture, or because they left the stove on. 

5. One Mouse Within Three Miles

Every human needs at least one mouse, which they may or may not know about, to be present within three miles of the human. It could be in their house or the surrouding city or forest. Anywhere really. Sometimes, mice build their own mini-cities, with technology that surpasses the humans. Obviously, the humans have never discovered one of these.

The mouse may not actively influence their life,  but we've never seen what happens when a human doesn't have a mouse nearby. The results could be disastrous, so please make sure your human is always close to a mouse. 

Now you know how to keep your humans healthy and happy!