Come Together: The Beatles Talkshow

Not Quite "Jukebox Jury"

Ringo: "Jukebox Jury" time!

John: Shh! Don't say that, Ringo! You could get us sued for plagiarizing— I mean, using that idea! *smiles sweetly.*

Paul: *pointedly.* We are not plagiarizing anybody, John. And Ringo, this is not "Jukebox Jury."

Ringo: But I thought we were going to listen to songs and judge them.

Paul: Yeah, we are, but don't say it's "Jukebox Jury," or, like John said, we'll get sued.

George: *bangs a gavel he bought especially for this occasion.* Everyone shut up! This is my courtroom!

Paul: *glares.* George, this isn't a courtroom, and even if it was, it wouldn't be yours.

John: Hey! Where'd you get that gavel? And why didn't I get one?

George: It's my gavel, so don't think of taking it.

Ringo: *smirks at John.* I bought a wig. *puts a judge wig on.*

Paul: *face-palm.* Oh, God.

John: Everyone bought court-y things except me! I feel left out!

Paul: John, you knew we were going to do this episode all week. You had plenty of time to go buy some rubbish you don't need.

John: *gasps dramatically.* I find it offensive that you think I don't need a gavel and a wig.

Paul: Well, you don't!

George: *bangs the gavel loudly.* Stop it! Wrap up, you two! Let's get on with this, shall we? Ringo, put the first song on!

Ringo: My pleasure. *sets a record player on the table and puts the needle down, which is followed by a hiss.*

Music: *playing.*

John: *wrinkles his nose.* What in Macca's name is this?!?

Paul: *peers at the name on the record.* "Try (Just a Little Bit Harder)" by Janis Joplin.

George: Ah, I love Janis.

Ringo: She wants someone to try something a little bit harder.

Paul: *suppressing laughter.* You think?

John: What does she want someone to try harder?

George: *defensively.* Stop slamming Janis!

Ringo: I didn't know you were a Janis Joplin fan, George.

George: I am, you know. She plays guitar. *stares dreamily at the record player.*

John: *whispers to Paul.* I think someone's got a crush.

Paul: *whispers back.* Now we can tease him.

Ringo: *to George.* They're talking about you, you know.

George: *bangs the gavel.* Stop whispering and listen to the bloody song!

Music: *ends.*

George: *holds up a score card.* Ten.

John: *holds up his score card and yawns.* Five and a half.

George: *glares.*

Paul: Seven.

George: *looks pointedly at Ringo.*

Ringo: *nervously.* Um, er, well . . . think it deserves an . . . eight?

George: You could have done better, Richie.