Stuck with a Punk ✔

No. 13.: Surprised

~ a few weeks later ~

"Nathan, what were you even thinking?" Even my father couldn't believe I almost went through with the adoption and what made the matters worse, he was pleased when I told him Mr Brandon Ritchie had crossed my plans. 

Though, he didn't show any interest when I asked him to keep it all calm because I was in a store, pushing a shopping cart around the store and among countless shelves. "Dad, I'm in a public place, could you please not scream at the phone so much? Also, can we talk about anythi-" I didn't want to discuss my ultimate fail. I was already feeling bad about everything, I didn't need anyone else, especially my Dad who's close to me, to tell me I'm a big dumb idiot. 

He didn't care much about how I was going to defend myself and he coldly interrupted me "I swear to God, son, I sometimes don't understand you." He took a small pause, then returned with even a bigger scolding hour "I don't think you're shy, overall uncomfortable or lack confidence. Pff, what am I even talking about, I know none of those things I mentioned describes you! There are no barriers on your way to pursue a woman and build a family with her! Just look at yourself in the mirror, look at your social status, look at the apartment you own and you still think adoption is the only way?" While he was speaking, I sighed a few times and pinched the area between my eyes. The scene just wouldn't end and I was getting tired. But then Dad said something that was stronger than caffeine from six coffees and 4 red bulls mixed together. "Is this about Patty?!"

"What?!" I choked out. "No!"A guy who was looking for frozen pizza anxiously glanced at me. Maybe he thought what I yelled was meant for him. I stiffly pushed the cart and ran away from his disturbing sight.

"Are you sure?" 

"I don't need to explain myself to anyone, I'm a grown man!" I barked back into the phone and after I calmed down, I proceeded "The adoption was my idea, okay? It was a bad one, but hey, who cares." I knew I sounded like a pissed off teen who just got into high school, but I was in no mood to build up a special, organised character in control. My Dad didn't say anything, he waited for me to say more. He knew if I ever talked about my own feelings, I talked about them only with him and nobody else. "I was just... Getting really excited about it."

Dad knew what every word I uttered meant. He understood how I felt if I swallowed the last syllable or if I raised my voice at the end of the word. "I'm not trying to offend you, but maybe it's for the best. Raising a child is not an easy job, it's a huge obligation that demands your whole world to shrink from fun, job and women to the small body in a crib. I know you could pull it off, but no one really knows what it's like raising a child until they actually have one." 

"I know, I know. But it wouldn't be so hard for me as everybody thinks. Okay, maybe I'll have some PMS syndromes, but every parent has them. The child wouldn't be in any great danger of starvation or hatred if it was under my care and you know it! I took care of Aidan for so many times, I can't count them on fingers of my both hands." I stopped next at an aisle with chips of all sorts. Flavours glared at me invitingly, sour cream & onion, cheddar cheese, salt & vinegar, barbecue, multigrain, baked potato, grilled shrimp, tortilla chips and millions of others. They were all calling me, whispering my name and I asked myself if I was in a self-destructive mood. Yes, yes, I was. But I didn't take the chips.

Dad's voice was reassuring and soft, like always when he spoke to me and I was getting emotional. He's been nothing but supportive of me and even when I was crumbling down and drowning in self-pity, he found a way to make me feel better on the inside. Sometimes that was confirmation what bad luck I have and how I don't deserve it, sometimes he'd just listen and every now and then murmur 'Mhm', 'Yes', 'I see' or 'I understand' and sometimes all it took was some cruelty and reality, then I managed to use my stubbornness in a good way and picked myself up. "I know all about it, son, but watching over a kid for one weekend or constantly being one's hawk isn't the same thing. I don't doubt you'd be a good father, but let's just say things sometimes happen for a reason. Maybe now you'll change your mind about finding the significant other, who knows."