Chapter 4 - Thanks For Helping

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Star's P.O.V
Marco was standing a few feet from me. His head hung low but his eyes were locked on mine. I stepped a little closer and touched his shoulder, doing my best to seem reassuring. He didn't push away so I hope that means I'm doing a good job.

"Don't feel sorry. You're anti-social, I get it." I say as he slowly looks up.

"Yeah but you were getting bullied, I really should've helped you." Marco says, his voice full of guilt.

"Marco stop, it's okay. We should head to class before we get in trouble." Both Janna and Marco nod in agreement. Thankfully it is the last period of the day. We all head to class and my stomach hurts thinking of going home after this class. I'm not safe anywhere and I hate it.

Last period went by slowly like every day. I just sat there with my head rested on my hands. When the bell rang I slowly got up and gathered my things. A girl was looking at me and walked off whispering to her friends. Still talking about me, feels great. Not. I walked out the classroom and heard people talking about 'the two freaks.' Everyone was talking about me and Marco like we were some poison running in this school. The whole walk down the hallway, that's all I heard. My feet started walking faster and soon I was out the school but there were still people there, leaving to go home. I just walked right past them, pretending I can't hear them, and walked home.

"Hey, how was your day Star?" Lilly says but I know that inside her she's saying "hope your day was awful."

"It was awful, like always." I say and walk upstairs before she could say anything else. I threw my backpack down and plop on my bed. There's no point in doing my homework because I don't remember anything.

"Star, why was your day awful?" Lilly walks in and sits down on my bed next to me.

"Why do you care?" I snap which was probably not the best way to respond. But knowing that she's only being nice because she kind of has to, I don't care.

"Star just tell me what happened. I'll help you, okay?" Lilly rests a hand on my arm. I give in because she won't stop asking until I tell her.

"Well, I had anxiety today and yelled out loud. After that everyone started calling me names and spreading rumors about me. Then a new guy came and everyone started calling him a freak because he wasn't paying attention in class. Then Lars bullied me, kicked me, and called me names." I say while sitting up, looking at Lilly.

"Why did you yell out in class?" I knew once that question came out, she was going to call me crazy too just like everyone else.

"Because my anxiety was telling me things and I wanted it to stop." She looks at me like everyone else does, with such confusion and disgust.

"Star, how can your own mind tell you things like that?" Great, here we go again.

"I don't know, it just screams things at me. It tells me I'm stupid and worthless. It keeps me up at night and I can't do homework because of it." Annoyance could be spotted in my voice.

"So, there is a good reason for them to call you insane." Lilly looks at me and I slowly back away from her, how could she say such a thing?

"What? They shouldn't have any reason to call me insane or delusional or crazy!" I scream. My anxiety is kicking in, it's so easy to get anxiety.

"Calm down Star. I'm just saying that you shouldn't do things that will make people do mean things." Lilly stands up and tries to put a hand on my shoulder but I quickly step back and walk to my bedroom door.

"You think I could control yelling out in the middle of class? Well, I couldn't Lilly, I couldn't." There were tears running down my cheeks now.

"Just call me mom. I don't understand wh-"

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