My Anxiety Is Silent (STARCO)

I Can't Loose You

Marco's P.O.V
I've never ran so fast in my life. Once Janna said those words my body immediately dropped my phone and ran out of my house. I didn't care if people looked at me strangely or called me crazy for running on the roads because I needed to see Star right away. I slammed the hospital doors open and ran up to the desk.

"Where's Star Butterfly!? I need to see her, please!" My body was sweating and I was breathing fast like I had just ran a mile run.

"She's in surgery but she will be in room 114." I thanked the doctor before running off again. My feet pounded on the floor.

"Janna! Janna!" I ran down the Hall towards the black haired girl, standing outside of room 114. She looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"Marco!" I've never seen Janna so happy to see me. She hugged me as soon as I got to her.

"It's all my fault. I'm sorry Marco, I'm so sorry!" Janna sobbed into a tissue, her eyes were red.

"Hey, it's okay. What happened?" I asked, she hesitated but eventually told me everything.

-two hours ago-

Star's P.O.V
"Janna! I want to drive so bad!!" She looked at me with a smirk.

"Star, I told you that it would make you nervous." I huffed in anger.

"I don't care. Please, let me drive!" Janna rolled eyes before slowly nodding.

"Fine, you win. You can drive my car but I'm coming with you." A huge smile erupted on my face and unknown squealing noises came from my mouth.

"Yeay!! Actually, let's go somewhere like...Taco Bell?" I asked. Janna eagerly nodded.

"Oh heck yes. I love Taco Bell!!" She screamed. We both walked downstairs and out her front door. If I'm being honest, I was a little scared.

As soon as I entered the grey van, everything seemed...crazy. Like what I was doing was crazy and I shouldn't be doing it. Is it crazy that I didn't listen? Janna taught me the basics and with a deep breath, I started the van and slowly drove out of the driveway. A smile crept on my face at my accomplishment.

Ten minutes later, we were almost to Taco Bell when suddenly I got super nervous. My anxiety kicked in and I was driving! I was shaking so bad and before I knew it, Janna was asking me a bunch of questions and then a car ran right into me. Luckily it wasn't Janna's side but I wasn't so lucky. The amount of force the car did on the van, startled me and just like that...everyrhing went black.

-present-

Marco's P.O.V
Tears ran down my face after Janna had finished her story. My heart stopped beating for two seconds. Everything around me seemed to go slow. Why Star, why couldn't I be me? I should be the one in the hospital not her! She deserves so much better than this!! Why can't I, just for once, trade places with her?

It seemed like Janna and I waited for hours but it wasn't even 40 minutes. Those 40 minutes killed me though. How long was it until I got to see her? Was she even going to make it? Thoughts ran through my head and finally a doctor approached us.

"Star Butterfly is out of surgery. You may see her but she isn't awake. She will probably be asleep for a couple hours. If she isn't awake by tomorrow...she will have passed." Please, dear God, let her be okay!

"Okay, thanks for telling us." I say quietly while standing up. The doctor nods and walks away, leaving me and the door in front of me.

"You go in, I have to go home." Janna started walking away but I grabbed her.

"No, you go see her, I promise I can wait." Janna gave me a small smile but pushed my hand off.

"Marco, my mom needs me right now. Go in and see her!" I nodded and let her walk away, crying a bit. I felt sorry for her. She shouldn't blame it on herself but...she does and I wish I could fix that. I shame away the thoughts as I remember where I am. My eyes trailed to the number 114. Hands trembling, I grabbed the doorknob and slowly turned it. The sight of her made me almost fall down crying. Her skin was pale, her breathing was slow, and she didn't look peaceful.

I walked closer but every step I took seemed to take forever. Seriously, why can't I be the one in that bed? Why does the world have to be cruel sometimes? My hand finally was able to touch the bed. I walked closer to her and was able to grab her hand. I pulled the chair next to the bed closer and sat down, still holding her hand.

"Star...please wake up," That's not enough I need to say more, "I know that life isn't fair to you but I will always stay next to you. The moment I saw you, I knew there was something different about you, and I was right. You are a different and special person, Star." I wasn't just crying, I was sobbing now.

"I-if you want to let go, you can. I'll let you but p-please don't. I can't lose you! I love you so much, more than an-anyone else in this world. No one has eyes that light up like yours, no one's laugh is as contagious as your, and my God Star, no one has a brighter smile than you. You may be broken in some ways but...y-you have so much light in you. I can't lose that light." Tears spilled from my eyes onto the floor and our intertwined hands. I can't lose her and I won't lose her, right?

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