Special Halloween Edition

Johnny Come Lately (Bill Temple)

Johnny Come Lately

They call him Johnny Come Lately

Because he is never on time

If you say, "Be here at eight."

He might be there by nine

He is always in a hurry

Never ever stayed that long

Was always late for somewhere else

Turn around and he was gone

They begged him to be prompt

On his parent's 50th anniversary

But when the party started

Johnny was no where to be seen

He was drinking at a local bar

Suddenly he realized the date

"Shit, I made them a promise.

Now I'm going to be so late."

He ran outside, jumped in his car

Finished the beer in his hand

Spun out of the parking lot

Kicking up rocks and sand

He went speeding down the highway

Only two miles back to town

Saw flashing lights in his rearview mirror

But he never took his foot off the gas

Johnny's car hit the shoulder

And began to spin out of control

Until the brakes locked, the car flipped

And sideways it began to roll

His head hit the side window

Smashed his skull open wide

Brains splashed all over the dash

The impact popped out both his eyes

Both of his shoulders were broken

And his spine snapped in two

His hips and legs were shattered

And an arm was ripped off too

The car flipped a dozen times

Blood covered all the inside

It stopped and rested upside down

Johnny sighed once, then died

It was a somber scene at Johnny's funeral

But very few people cried

There was an air of sadistic happiness

For once, Johnny was on time