Cliché (Dan Howell/Danisnotonfire)

Chapter 18- Forever and always

She left. My best friend packed her stuff, and left unannounced. Everything we had been through, talked about, laughed about, was now just a memory in the back of our heads.

Flashback:

I shoved the big wooden door open, as I stumbled, exhausted, into the house. My second day at work had come to a close, and now I only had to put in the furniture.

Dan was at a meeting, and I hadn't seen phil for at least a week.

"Jess?!" I yelled. No response.

I walked into the spacious kitchen, and found a note, laid neatly on the kitchen counter.

Erin,

By the time you read this I will most likely be at the airport.

Airport?

I know, shocker huh? But I've been thinking, about all of the shit I went through, and I haven't even told you the most part... so here goes.

You know all the small details about me liking phil, but our history goes further back than you'd think.

When I was about 15 years old, we were best friends, and it was when my father abused me... And no one but you knew.

My cuts and scars got deeper, and deeper, and deeper, but I met a boy. Phil.

We had a fling, we would sit all day, smoking by the lake, thinking no one in the world could hold us back. We were the rebels, that would sit listening to hippie music.

Me and Phil fell in love. You know that time I told you me and my parents were going around Europe for a month... me and Phil had really ran away. Everyone was asking me questions about my dad and life and its was too much, and Phil just wanted a break.

We took his Volkswagen camper van (we were both 17) and traveled to lots of different festivals and campfires.

But after about 3 weeks of traveling, I met a boy called Euan. We would spend a lot of time together and phil got kind of jealous and just... took off.

I had to hitchhike home and was grounded for about a year, but no one but me and my mum knew, well actually she was drunk and high so She didn't remember the next morning.

I never saw phil after that. When I saw pictures of you with Dan, I watched a couple of his videos... And saw him with phil.

My heart was shattered and I could barely live. When I met Phil, I guess he was too high off his head before to remember me, because he had no recollection of who I was. I never came out of my room and didn't talk to anyone for about a week if you remember, I had the 'flu'.

When the New Years party came... You know what happened and it was a massive shock to me... we actually... hooked up that night.

The next morning phil, for the second time took off, and it broke my heart.

I never came out of my room and it was extremely hard for me.

Then one day phil came in to talk to me... but only to tell me he was dating someone.

That was when I decided... I'm leaving, I want no more to do with him and I don't want him to break my heart even more than it is.

I'm sorry Erin, I really couldn't do it.

Just remember that I love you so much and that I'm forever grateful for doing that for me years ago and even giving me a place to stay.

Love you and tell Dan that I love him too,

Jess x

I fell, distraught, onto the floor. Letting tears stream right down my face.

I can't do anything right now, nothing I do will bring her back. I have no clue where she is going, she could be flying to Norway or Canada for all I know.

I never knew Jess knew phil before, it all made sense to me now. I just thought she was overreacting...

End of flashback:

I laid back onto my bed, and stared at my ceiling, defining all of the swirls and patterns littered above my head, resembling one shape or another. I got the job... yay? I'm not even sure anymore, but due to what's happened I have 3 weeks I gather my senses.

The ceiling, It was like my mind, full, jumbled and confused.

Suddenly I heard a knock sound at my bedroom door.

"Come in" I mumbled still engrossed in my ceiling.

"Hey" Dan walked in, and laid next to me.

Nothing had to be said. It was all discussed in that millisecond.

Dan turned towards me, and I followed suit. We both stared at each other, and just looked. I was looking for something, I didn't know what, but I was.

Confusion? happiness? worry? there was something there that hadn't been discussed between us.

"Come with me" Dan said, and took my hand in his, leading me off the bed.

He took me to the garden, and to the end, where the little river ran. We carried on walking until we reached the little wooden pier.

"Is there a point to this?" I asked him.

Instead of answering his just lifted me, into his arms. So my legs were wrapped around his hips as he just held me there peacefully.

"We're running away" he whispered.

"But I-"

"Don't question it, don't even think, just trust me" he smiled. I smiled back, and kissed him gently, letting his lips still linger around mine.

Just as he said, I agreed.

"Now first, I need you I do me a quick favour" he whispered.

"Anything" I whispered back as we leaned our foreheads together, and shut our eyes, letting this moment stay forever.

"No matter what bump in the road we may come across, you will always love me, and hold me, tell me that everything is ok, even when nothing is, apart from that, moment, forever and always?"

I looked at him and let a small year escape the corner of my eye.

Whispering, I repeat...

"Forever and always"

••

Aww that was for you guys because of all of the lovely comments I receive...

From mainly one of my best friends

Jess :) (marshmellowbeats)

Because I'm here, forever and always :) <3