Remember Me

Chapter 10

                                                                 Chapter 10

                Tossing and turning in his bed, Andrew couldn’t keep his eyes closed. He never had trouble with sleeping, but ever since life got harsh, he stayed up late at night. Talking with his sister, or better said, fighting, had a huge impact on him. Not that he regretted saying what was on his mind, he wondered if it changed her view on the revenge she was planning so carefully. Never had he seen her pay attention to minor details, working with maps, letters, creating soldiers out of villagers… she was like a queen.

                A part of him was scared. Scared of what was going to happen. Maybe the fear was a warning, or just another thing in line of his weaknesses when it came to Andrew’s family. There was an old book containing all of his ancestors, but he was afraid of what he could find inside. Some secrets are secrets for a reason, it’s the best not to pay any attention.

                Reaching under his bed, he pulled out Rosalie’s notebook where she planned out the attack. She didn’t know he stole it from her while she was out, practicing with Darius. Now was the perfect chance to read and put it back where she left it before she comes back and notices it missing. Brushing off dust that stuck to the leather cover, he excitedly opened it, sitting up in his bed.

                It was too dark to read, so he took hold of a candle and lit it up, putting it on the small table next to the bed. Comfortable under the covers, he started reading.

                Plan: attack the Kingdom, free men, get Alexander off the throne and gather women back into the kingdom. People who want to leave are free to leave, and welcome to return if they change their minds. Any other matter is improvisation, along with the army, those who survive the battle.

                Andrew skipped a few pages, Rosalie didn’t need to write down what he just read, it was her way of distracting attention of a possible threat if someone stole it to know her intentions. Obviously, she didn’t expect Andrew to find it, otherwise she would have camouflaged it much better. Several pages later, it became more like her personal diary.

                What should I do? Yes, it’s pointless to write all my thoughts on paper and hope my answers will get a reply, but I’m starting to get anxious. Many lost faith in my leadership, most of friends and even my brother don’t believe I could rule the Kingdom and give the people a good leader they deserve. Maybe I would be worse than Alexander, but someone would warn me just like I tried to warn him. Or at least I think so. In the past couple of days, I feel discouraged and doubt my love and loyalty to Caleb. We didn’t know each other well before we got separated, maybe I was wrong about him the whole time. The necklace he gave me is still close to my heart, but I don’t trust people easily, he shouldn’t be an exception. Last time I trusted someone, my brother, the consequences were harsh. As much as I love him, our way of thinking is different, and we can’t agree on anything. As much as I hate to admit it, it scares me.

                The other thing lingering in my mind is a question, I often ask myself why I am doing this. Is it for fame? Feel of power? Strength? Love? Or something entirely different? At first, I was sure it was to save my Caleb and other women’s men and children, but now… I’m not so sure. Yet, if I’m doing this to make me feel better, it doesn’t make any sense either. Why sudden change? For all my life, I’ve put other people’s lives and wishes in the first place, barely paying attention to my own. Even if I won the battle and somehow convinced or force Alexander to back off, what would be next? I can’t let the kingdom disappear, people to be hungry and thirsty, the territory unprotected… all the time I’ve been criticizing Alex when I should have thought twice. Perhaps he’s not the kindest person in the world, but it’s hard to be the King. You have no privacy, no rest, no family. He has money and a wonderful castle, but not time to enjoy it.