Remember Me

Chapter 15

        Chapter 15

                There is nothing as tempting as a locked door.

                It gives you two choices, to stay behind the wall and wonder what’s on the other side until you lose your mind, or try to open it and embrace yourself for whatever is there.

                Rosalie was torn. Darkness crept upon her, its fingers crawling on her skin, pulling her into its cold endless embrace. She felt no pain, no connection to the body. There was no light, no hope. She was being tested. At first, she believed in death as nothing else but turning into dust, eaten by all sorts of creatures, buried deep in the ground so no one could hear her cries. By the time she’d turned ten, she was old enough for Andrew to bring her to the funerals of their closest friends. She stood far from the pile of dust, her hands at her sides gripping the black dress. It was not something she was afraid to attend, but it terrified her to remember how it must have been painful for the person. Cold, pale face woke her up every night, having her screaming until she had no voice.

                Even when she grew up, nothing changed much. She realized life wasn’t about dying, yet so many people took living for granted. The thought of Andrew being taken away from her sounded terrifying, she would never be ready to accept it. Their parents had left them, but she barely remembered them. Not that it made the things easier.

                She wondered how it feels like to have a child. Carry it inside you and bring it to the cruel world, not knowing what fate has planned. Would she have a caring husband, or a man that only bothered to have his needs satisfied? Would she ever want a child with Caleb? Remember me, he had said. What if he only pretended in front of the King? What if his love was the kind no woman would ever want? Years have passed, yet he didn’t seem to care, didn’t bother to even try. It was her promise to find him, but now she couldn’t even save herself. From the moment she married him, her life had changed.

                But then, how could she secretly want a man who would hold her in her sleep, love her until death did them apart when her mind was blinded by rage, blinded by the urge to sacrifice her life for dignity. She deserved nothing more than Caleb. Rosalie wasn’t Waverly, a woman to wish for as a friend, sister, mother or a wife. Despite her ugly past, she won her battles and became a warrior of a new sort. Darius was not a tortured soul, but he passed through a lot when other boys his age still played with wooden sticks as swords. Destiny brought them together, Rosalie believed, smiling against the provoking obscurity all around her.

                Some said your life flashes in front of your eyes just before you die. Either that wasn’t the truth, or Rose wasn’t dead. From what she was looking at, she couldn’t afford to believe in good.

                Rosalie tried to wriggle her fingers to see if they responded. Maybe it sounded crazy, but she had to make sure it wasn’t a dream. Surely she would dream of a castle, not a poor wooden door that looked like it was going to collapse in any second. If it was heaven, it definitely disappointed her. She imagined the portal to be large, embellished and carved, made of the best wood that Earth can give.

                Her curiosity led her floating toward the rotten door. She ran her hand down the scraped, battered dark brown wood, trying to find the source that made it possible for her to see it. Yet, she found nothing. Her mind couldn’t settle on being locked in here for who knows how long. She was desperate with need to go back to her brother, friends and May, who she thought of as a daughter.

                Her sleek fingers clamped on the metal doorknob, feeling no cold, feeling nothing. It was now or never. Just one tiny movement separated her from, what she believed, two worlds. The question was, is it worth living in either one? Closing her eyes she took a long breath, her lungs heavy. Her fingers pulled. It clicked. The door opened.