Paint it Another Colour

Chapter 59

I feel like the picture is in the wrong chapter, but it was such a good picture that, you know, why not? 

Erland - Ladonia

The blue, plastic chair Leon had been sitting on for the past few hours, and all through yesterday was starting to feel more than just uncomfortable, and he was starting to fidget. In front of him, was Emil, hooked up to numerous tubes, wires and other machines, some of which didn't really seem to do anything to Leon's eyes, others made helpful beeps. He wasn't sure if he preferred them or not, because part of him was screaming at them, terrified that at any second, they'd all go silent. 

One of the nurses in the area came in to ask if he wanted a drink. He'd been asked many times now, on the hour, if he wanted a drink, and each one he'd accepted - anything to stay away. It wasn't as if he could even glance around the room at whatever anyone else was doing, or anything like that. Emil had got a room to himself: something to do with his nation status. Despite the obvious fact of using other people's comings and goings to keep himself entertained, Leon was relieved there was no one else. Frankly, he didn't want to see anyone else right now, least of all people awake, talking, smiling.

At least, that was what he assumed other people did in hospital rooms. 

He'd never been in a crowded one - always empty, like this one. Not that he'd been in them that many times before though. Hospitals weren't places he visited frequently. He'd been a few times with Mei after various sewing incidents; with Yong Soo and Kyung Soo after fights gone wrong; with Yao numerous times to sort out back problems, and with Kiku a couple, although those were few and far between. Apart from visiting with other people, he'd only been in a hospital twice before, and both times had been to an empty room like this one.

It wasn't the least attractive room in the world - it could just do with a little bit of colour, he thought. It was white. White walls, white floor, white ceiling. White. Not a bright white, but more of a dusty colour that could represent cream if he squinted. White. Why would anyone want to wake up to a white room? Sure it represented cleanliness, but to Leon, it would seem more like he was 'walking towards the light' than getting better. 

To begin with, Leon had talked to Emil a lot, telling him about everything that had happened, how he'd found him and about the latest episodes of whatever, sometimes singing or humming some lyrics of a few songs he knew Emil had heard of. Whether he liked them or not, he had no idea. Now, however, he'd given up - an entire day later. He wasn't really one to stick at things, was he? He assumed Emil couldn't hear him, so stopped talking, mostly, and now he just sat in silence, staring ahead, trying to not get to preoccupied with thinking about the beeping.

When they'd brought Emil in, the nurse who kept bringing him drinks had voiced her shock that he was still alive after loosing so much blood, which Leon had just told her was probably luck. Thankfully, she hadn't questioned the stab wounds or missing arm. Those would be a bit harder to explain than the blood, and although he still hadn't woken up, Leon was definitely not feeling as despairing as yesterday. Yesterday, he kept on having to be ushered out due to sudden and random bleedings. Yesterday, there had been a time when the beeping machines had stopped. Yesterday, Emil put a whole new meaning to the term 'paper white'. Today, was definitely better.

"I'm gonna stretch my legs a little" he said, standing up and walking to the door. "I'll be back in a bit."

They were the only times he spoke to Emil now: coming in, and leaving. 

He'd only walked a small distance around the corner before stopping. The nurse was stood a bit away talking with a doctor in a hushed, worried voice, which wasn't quite quiet enough to not hear, but not loud enough to hear all of. From where he was stood, Leon heard something about illnesses, something else about government importance, and something else about turning off a life-support. For a second, he went completely cold, then shook his head slightly, because they couldn't talking about Emil. There had to be hundreds of patients on life-support here - it was the biggest hospital in Iceland - but even so, he couldn't force himself to carry on walking and to get away from them, just in case. Besides, they could say something else which could put his mind at rest.

He didn't realise how much he'd been staring at them until the nurse glanced over, smiled, and started walking in his direction. Leon's breath caught in his throat.

"We're at our wit's end" she sighed. "We have a patient on one of the upper floors, and no one's come forwards to say who he is, or anything like that. We know from the Swedish government he'd fairly important, but there's been no one else." Leon felt himself completely relax. It wasn't Emil. "You wouldn't by chance happen to know a Berwald Oxenstierna, would you?" 

Leon froze again and felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as he nodded slowly.

"Really?" the nurse breathed out quickly. "Are you family?" Leon shook his head. "Do you know his family then? We're struggling to get in contact with anyone."

"They're..." Leon trailed off and he glanced behind him in the direction of Emil's room. "They're dead" he muttered. "I mean... there's Emil, but I don't think Emil would do you much good right now."

"Ah." The doctor the nurse had been talking to before came up behind her and wrote something on a clip board. "Do you know anyone with close contact to him then?" 

Leon hesitated. "There's his son, but no one's seen Erland for years now, so probably not, no."

"Right." The doctor scribbled something else on the clip board and then took a deep breath. "Listen, Mr Oxenstierna has been in hospital care for just under a month now. He was transferred here after the Swedish hospital in Gothenburg couldn't look after him anymore, and we agreed as we had extra space. However, he'd not showing any signs of recovering at all, in fact, he seems to be getting worse - fading I'd say - and there's nothing more we can do about it, and seeing as we hadn't found anyone he was related to, we'd come to the decision of turning off the life-support machine. But now, it goes to you."

Leon's insides sunk some more. "Um..." he muttered, glancing over his shoulder at Emil's room again. How would he explain this to him when he woke up?

'Hey Emil, glad you're awake. By the way, while you were asleep, I sorta second-hand-murdered the last surviving member of your family. Hope you don't mind.'

He doubted that would go down very well. 

"If you like, you can go and think about it" the nurse said. "I can come and ask tomorrow."

"Right" Leon said. "Yeah... yeah. That'd be best... I think." He turned and headed back down the corridor, closing the door when he got to Emil's room and sitting down next to him again. "Erm... hi Emil" he muttered. "So... Berwald's here. I mean, he's not awake, but, he's here. The doctors didn't know anyone they could talk to, so they didn't know what to do with him. I said I knew him - you know him better of course though - but, I suppose I thought it would give him a bit more time until you woke up? Then you could see him, I guess. But, they... want to turn off the life-support, and they're asking me about it. I... don't know. I mean... I don't know what to do, because... I guess he's dying anyway, and it'd just be more painful for him if we didn't? But even so. I'm already responsible for so many accidental deaths... I don't think I can deal with another one." He glanced up at Emil, watched the steady rise and fall of his chest, the mask over his face fogging up with each breath that seemed to coincide perfectly with the beeps of his own machines. "I don't know why I'm even talking to you" Leon gave a weak laugh. "I mean, you can't hear me anyway, can you?" He sighed. "Don't hate me Emil, please, but... I'm going to say yes when they come round to ask me again tomorrow."

Emil stayed silent.