letters

1.0

When I'm Alone, f(x)

- - -

As Jin walked into the cafe, with the warm aroma of coffee filling his nose, he cast a quick glance around in search for that handsome face that was burned into his memory.

Seems like he’s not here. Jin checked the time on his phone. 6:23. Looks like I was a bit early. That’s fine; I’ll just take a seat by the shelves and start a book until he shows.

Heading to the bookshelves, Jin selected a somewhat short paperback for him to read until N showed, then took a seat near the front of the cafe so he could be visible through the window.

Minutes passed. Jin finished his book- quite a short thing of approximately 60 pages- when he checked the time again. 6:57.

Huh, that’s strange. Maybe he forgot his classes were over, and automatically headed there. He could be on his way now. Jin ordered a glass of iced tea, then went to the shelves to pick out another short novel. Returning to his original spot, he started his next book, sipping his tea.

More time passed. Jin finished this novel as well- this one slightly longer at approximately 80 pages- and N still has yet to show. Jin checked the time. 7:34. It’s getting a bit dark; maybe he just didn’t see me in the window? I’ll ask the barista.

Jin returned the book back to its proper place, then picked up his empty glass and headed to the counter. As he arrived, a young barista with ash blonde hair turned to him. “Returning a glass?”

Jin nodded as he slid the glass across the counter, the barista expertly catching it and placing it in the sink. Jin cleared his throat. “Hey, um,” he snuck a look at his nametag. “Daehyun, did you happen to see someone enter here within about the past hour? He’s about this tall-” Jin paused to hold his hands at about N’s height, “-with dimples and skin a little lighter than yours?”

The barista Daehyun pursed his lips in thought, then slowly shook his head. Jin’s heart dropped to his feet. “Alright, thanks,” he replied, attempting to mask the disappointment in his voice.

“Wait, was that your- oh, honey, come sit here.” Daehyun tapped a space on the counter, and Jin obliged, taking a seat in the corresponding chair. The barista went to the back, returning moments later with a slice of chocolate cheesecake. “On the house,” he sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“No- thank yo- it’s fine.” Jin was unsure on what to say. “It wouldn’t have worked out, anyway; I didn’t even know his name.”

Daehyun shook his head sympathetically as Jin tried to convince himself that what he had just said was true.

But I didn’t need to know his name. I knew so much more about him, so many more important things. In fact, not knowing each other’s names became our thing. We didn’t need names.

He’s my handsome pharmacist.

But I guess I’m not his beautiful CEO like he said I was.

I should’ve been more careful.

“Hey,” the barista said softly. “Maybe try to get ahold of him; hopefully, he has a good reason.”

“Yeah,” Jin sighed. “I sure hope so.”

But does he really?

He slid the empty plate back across the counter. “Thank you for everything.”

“Not a problem, man. Hope it works out.” As Jin was walking out of the cafe and back to his dorm, he couldn't help but wonder:

Was this relationship what I thought it was?

As soon as he set foot through the door, Jin fell on his bed and allowed the tears to fall silently, thankful that none of his roommates were there.

Stay strong, Jin. Maybe Daehyun's right.

N, here's hoping you had an excellent reason for this.

- - -

I have a plan for this, I swear.

xx Bex