letters

1.4

SotC: Hellevator, Stray Kids

(Definitely give this song a listen, it fits this chapter pretty well, and happens to be one of my new favorites)
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MY BEAUTIFUL CEO,

I know that I didn’t show up to our date. I know that I didn’t reply to any of your messages for weeks. I know that I ended up taking all your letters, but I didn’t respond. I know I hurt you, in ways that I might not be able to imagine.

I know that I’m probably a monster to you now. Some sort of heartless bastard that played you like a game and broke your heart.

I know...

I know...

I know.

I swear to you, on my brother's life, on your life, that wasn’t my intention. At all.

But that's what happened, and I pray that you'll hear me when I plead:

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.

I’m so sorry.

I swear that I never want to hurt you, nor do I ever want to see you hurt. Because knowing that you’re in so much pain hurts me. And knowing that I’m the one causing it?

It makes me want to die. Over and over and over again.

I’ve been so fucking selfish.

I’ve tried so hard to reply to you, to convey how I felt, but each time I put pen to paper, it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. But now I’m sitting here, and I’m going to tell you everything. Absolutely everything.

Why?

Because, my beautiful CEO, I'm in love with you.

This sounds so incredibly cliché and nonsensical, almost like the plot of a book or movie. There's so much about this that might not even make sense to the average person-- for instance, how can I feel so strongly for someone who's name I don't even know?

But to them, I'd say that you are so much more then average-- in fact, you're so much more than any conventional label that could ever be placed. You make me do so much, and dream even more, and with you, it's kind of fun to do the impossible.

The impossible has been done.

I love you.

I'm definitely not expecting you to say it back, not after everything I've done.

But you have become my moon, my stars, my world. When the sun shines, I associate it with your beautiful smile, and when it rains, I can only think of the rainbow that is you. You have embedded yourself wholly in my heart, my beautiful CEO, and you’re there to stay.

And I'm not going to lie to you and say I'm okay. Because I'm not. Baring my soul open to you and telling you everything hurts. But for you, I can handle the pain. Over and over, even, if you need me to.

You deserve to know. Everything.

Because I'm in love with you.

And it is because I love you that I’m going to tell you this story. And I believe this story will answer many of the questions you have.

Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a boy in Ilsan. He lived there with his parents and sister, had some friends, and lived an overall happy life.