letters

1.9

SotC: Hold Me Tight, BTS

(I know that I usually put the studio recordings of the song, but come on. This performance is beautiful.)
- - -

"SO? HOW IS IT?" JIN ASKED AS N PICKED UP THE PHONE.

"Give me a second." Jin could hear the sounds of N walking, then entering a room and closing the door. "You were saying?"

"I said, how are things going?" Jin asked again, impatiently, waiting to hear N's thoughts on his new home.

N giggled at Jin's obvious restlessness. "It's going great! The apartment is beautiful, and spacious-- how the hell did your father afford this place as a college student? I just looked it up online and it's valued at about 340 million won-- this is worth more than all of my childhood homes combined-"

Jin laughed at N's sheer amazement. "My father's parents invested in a couple businesses when they were young, then forgot about it. When they died in a car crash, all of their assets went to my father, as he was their only child. My father saw the shares that his parents had from their investment, and when he checked them, he discovered that they were worth, like, a billion won."

N gasped. Jin continued. "So he bought himself a nice apartment, and saved the rest of his money because he knew he wanted to start a business. But he needed a business partner, and that's where my mom comes in the picture. They ended up falling for each other, got married, and lived together in the apartment. When Mother fell pregnant with my brother, however, they agreed that the location wasn't exactly ideal to raise a family. So they bought a home in Anyang, and my mother told him to sell the apartment. But he never did."

"Thank God for that," N murmured.

Amen.

"So how have Jimin and Taehyung been?" Jin asked, and no sooner than the words left his mouth did N begin to laugh.

"Jimin and Taehyung are great, and they're getting along with Jungkook nicely. Taehyung quite a bit more than Jimin, though."

Jin grinned. "You don't mean...?"

"Oh yeah. As soon as Taehyung saw my brother, all the blood rushed from his face. It was like he saw a ghost. I think all his blood went to Jungkook's face, he got so red so quickly."

"Or maybe it went to his--"

"I'm stopping you right there, babe."

Jin shook his head, grinning. "Kids."

"And to think Jungkook was making fun of us last week. Now look at him."

Jin chuckled. "Karma's a bitch, isn't she?"

"Damn straight."

"But we're gay."

"Shut the hell up."

Jin hummed in amusement. "When will you be coming back to university?"

"If all goes well, by the end of the week; I have to submit a statement on everything that's happened, and it has to be reviewed by the board, and then they'll determine if I can return."

"God, that's stupid. But it'll be fine. You'll be fine."

"Yeah, it's not like they can say much about my parents died and I had to rush back to Busan to take care of my younger brother."

"I think you're right there." A pause. "How are you handling that, though?"

"Honestly?" N sighed. "It's hard, love. It's so fucking hard to handle. It's like, okay, being orphaned once feels shitty enough. But twice? Within ten years? It's like..." N exhaled. "Fuck."

"And it's almost worse this time. Because now I feel shitty, but I also have to take care of Jungkook, who also feels shitty, and I have to sort of hide it around him and be strong for him, you know? But where does that leave me? Like, their deaths were my fault, and I-"

"Shh." Jin attempted to comfort N as much as he could through the phone. "It's okay if you show him you're hurting. I mean, shit, they were your parents, too, and when something like this happens, it's okay to be sad about it. Actually, it's expected. If you weren't upset, now that would be concerning."

N lightly chuckled as Jin continued. "Your situation now isn't that you have to just take care of him; you both have to take care of each other. For now, you two are the only family you've got, and so you have to talk this out and work past this. Jungkook's in his last year of high school, yes? He's nearly a man now. You don't have to hide your pain from him. He feels it, too."

"You're right."

"Oh, and love? It wasn't your fault. Your parents made the decision to go visit you on their own, and they just ran into an unfortunate situation on the way. It was an accident, babe. And accidents aren't planned- that's why they're accidents."

By now, N was openly crying. As he sniffled, his voice came over the line, thick with tears and relief. "Thank you. So much. You have no idea how-- how much I needed to hear that right now."

"I'd say it over and over again if I had to. I'm always here for you-- just call for me, and I'll be with you."

A sigh. "I-- I just need some time alone right now. To think."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you more."

- - -

A nice ease off the angst, no?

I'm pretty sure this is it, no need for y'all to guard your hearts anymore.

Thoughts?

Much love,

xx Bex