31. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
32. Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
EDITORIAL: Probably the most thought-provoking one-liner is "Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway." It's sad but true---no matter what you do you will die. This is because you have sinned against God. Let's see if that is true: have you ever lied (even once)? Ever stolen (anything)? Jesus said, "Whoever looks upon a woman (or man) to lust after her(or him), has committed adultery already with her(or him) in his heart." Ever looked with lust? If you answered "Yes" to these three questions, by your own admission, you are a lying, thieving, adulterer at heart; and we've only looked at 3 of the Ten Commandments. How will you do on Judgement Day? Will you be innocent or guilty? You know that you will be guilty, and end up in Hell. That's not God's will. He provided a way for you to be forgiven. He sent His Son to take your punishment: "God commended His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Jesus then rose from the dead and defeated death!! God promises everlasting life to all those who confess and forsake their sins, and trust in Jesus Christ. Please do that today.... you may not have tomorrow. See John 14:21 for a wonderful promise. Then read the Bible daily and obey what you read. God will never let you down. For more information go to www.livingwaters.com
33. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
34. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
35. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
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101 of the World's Funniest One Liners/Jokes
HumorIf at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving!! Read more funny one liners in this small book. :)
