Sanity || j.d

22

“Call if you need anything.” My mum offered as the group set off on their hiking expedition. “And be back here soon. You hear me? You have to be back before we are.” She explained.

“Sure thing mum.” I replied.

Josh had gone into the tent to change into his board shorts while they all got ready for their hike. I had to sit around waiting for him once they’d left though.

“You gonna hurry up or am I going to have to come in there with you?” I questioned, growing impatient.

“I’m sure you’d like what you see, plus no one’s going to stop you.” He answered.

“Thanks, but-”

“No thanks. Right?” He exited the tent in board shorts and a t-shirt with a towel draped over his shoulder. “Go on then, hurry up.” He let me pass into the tent and I zipped it shut, opening my backpack and pulling out the two piece. In a couple of swift movements I had my clothes in a pile on my sleeping bag and the bikini on me. I pulled on my t-shirt and a pair of shorts and picked up my towel on the way out.

“Well don’t you look sassy.” He commented upon seeing me.

“You don’t even know what bathers I’m wearing.” I mumbled, suddenly very self-conscious.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t tell my favourite girl she isn’t sassy.” He grinned pulling me into a hug.

Another thing: he didn’t give me bone crushing hugs anymore; they were always soft; something I could easily get out of. I wouldn’t be his favourite girl forever either. He’ll get married young, settle down and start a family. He’ll always put family first and I’m scared that one day I’m not going to fit into that category, because one of us always loves more, and for once I don’t think it’s me.

“We should get going then,” I suggested, “Gotta beat them back.” I awkwardly pulled out of the hug and began to head in the direction of the creek.

We walked side by side and out of the corner of my eye I could see him sneaking glances at me. This didn’t faze me as much as the way he was walking so close that our arms were brushing together profusely. Seeing as I couldn’t do much about that, I ignored it best I could.

Upon our arrival at the creek - which looked as follows: quaint, small and deserted - we began to set up on the bank. The creek itself wouldn’t have been much bigger than two blocks of land with the actual creek part trickling out the opposite direction we came from which would eventually meet the lake at the other end.

Next to me, he began to pull his shirt off and I felt obligated to do the same, but it was already getting to me. I mean, it’s not like he hadn’t seen me in a bikini before, but he hadn’t seen me in a bikini since we were in year nine. He was already ankle deep in the water by the time my top was half off. I could feel him looking at me even though I had my back turned to him and even then when I was clumsily taking my shorts off, he wouldn’t stop.

I joined him in the water, going no deeper than him, and when I finally looked directly at him, he seemed to give me a once over before smirking at me. “What?” I asked.

“Like you don’t know.” He smiled smugly. When I didn’t say anything else, instead of continuing the conversation, he bent down, grabbed me by the waist and threw me over his shoulder.

“Josh,” I squealed. “Put me down.”

“As you wish your highness.” He was really dishing out the formal here. Dropping me as asked, I landed on my butt, in the water up to my neck. I stood up straight, in the waist deep water, not realising that he’d walked us in further while I was having my tantrum.

“I hate you.” I shrieked. “It’s freezing.” I folded my arms across my thinly built body.

He rolled his eyes and pulled me closer, so that his front was against my back, resting his arms along mine. “You are such a sucker for the cold.” He commented.

I nodded slowly. “I know. I’m just glad that you’re here.” I flinched slightly as he rested his head on my shoulder.

“I won’t always be able to fight off all the monsters though.” He explained.

“But you promised that you’d never let anything hurt me.” I replied meekly.

“Not all monsters are bad.”

I shook my head slowly, disagreeing with him. “You’re wrong. The world is made up of monsters with pretty faces.”

When am I not right? I knew that this would happen; this disagreement. We were perfectly okay this morning, loving even, but now we would completely forget about that and just hate each other again and again. It was sickeningly repetitive.