Sanity || j.d

48

We weren’t best friends and I doubted that we would ever be again. It just wasn’t the same. Maybe because, averagely, you lose two friends when you’re in a relationship. What frustrated me though, was that I wasn’t in a relationship ...well, not an official one anyway.

But I could be a real idiot at times.

I could talk the leg off a chair if need be, but by then I’d be talking about absolutely anything and everything. Cole didn’t know I’d kissed Josh; twice. Josh didn’t like that Cole was around at my place roughly twice a week. I nearly told Cole that I loved him when, now, I clearly did not. But I didn’t have it in me to tell him to just leave, he was too nice for his own good.

Okay you win. This time I need to talk to you. I hit send and waited for a reply.

Cole was in the kitchen making muffins and I was “studying” a.k.a. texting under the desk and hoping the he wouldn’t notice.

Depends what it’s about. And what are you and the boyfriend up to? ;)

I’ll be up in a few.

“Cole, I’m just going to the bathroom.” I called and crept upstairs. But then again, he probably couldn’t hear me over the fan in the kitchen. Any idiot would know that there’s at least one bathroom on each floor.

Opening the window I jumped across and loudly knocked on Josh’s window. He opened it, looking unsure. “You changed your mind?” He sounded surprised by his own choice of words.

I shook my head. “Actually, I need help figuring out-”

“Nope. You’ve crossed the line. I will not be used, just when you need me.” He folded his arms determinedly.

“But, I’m not.” I spluttered.

He shook his head. “No Sarah-”

“Just hear me out.”

Josh sighed, sitting down on one of the two beanbags in the room, motioning for me to do the same. “Shoot.”

“Cole doesn’t know anything about you and I and I’m fed up with the way you baby me when he’s around. You’re protective and it’s making me claustrophobic,” he laughed at that point, to which I scowled at him but continued on anyway. “I nearly told him that I loved him and I can tell you right now that I certainly do not.”

Suddenly, Josh had a look of understanding on his face. “You want me to help you break up with him?”

“Yes-wait, no.” I stammered.

“That’s what it sounds like.” He pointed out.

“So is that the situation I’m in then?” I asked dumbfounded.

“Sarah, do you love me?” The question caught me off guard.

I blinked repeatedly, trying to give him a chance to realise what he’d asked. “What?”

“Well if you don’t love him, then leave him. Simple.”

I was still spellbound by what he’d said prior to that. “A-and how do I do that?” Trying to figure out if he meant to say himself or Cole.

He shrugged. “That’s up to you.”

Why is it always my problem when I need him the most?